This is the third story from the group that did pictures together. Mallory, of Northeast Sisterhood and Birth Doula Services, is the one who got the group together and took all of the photos. The other stories include in this group are Martha and Caitlin.
My story starts back in 2020. I was 22 at the time, and recently engaged to my now husband Clancy.
In February 19th, 2020 I decided to take a pregnancy test because I had not gotten my period yet but I was feeling some cramps. When I took my first pregnancy test you could barely see the line, I was in shock. Not quite sure what to do as if I were to be pregnant is was unexpected!
The following day I took 3 more hahah just to be sure, you know! And for each test the line was faded but darker in each one. I immediately showed my husband because even though it was not planned I was excited and of course scared!
On Friday, February 21st I called the Mya’s women’s center to make an appointment and have my first ultrasound to see how far along I am, they gave me my appointment for the following week, February 24th! Which worked out great because that is my husbands birthday, so I thought what best than an ultrasound for him in his birthday!
As the days passed by I started to have some spotting, so as a young 22 year old I googled “spotting while pregnant” which of course was a big mistake. Because of some of the things I read online, I decided to go to the emergency room, my husband was at work at the time so I went with my mother!
They did a blood and urine test to confirm my pregnancy which all came back positive, yay! They informed me I was 3 weeks pregnant. They ran some test, because they thought since it was the first time my looks and my husbands blood mixed, my body was attacking the baby thinking it was something negative in my body, but thankfully it wasn’t and the doctor informed me it was implantation bleeding. They informed me if it got any worse or there were any clots to come back.
As the weekend past everything was going good. But then on the day of my appointment with Mya’s women center I started to bleed more, it was like an actual period. I immediately started to shake and become worried. My husband and I got the the appointment and I explained to them I was bleeding, they took my urine and as I handed the urine to the nurse I could see some blood. Right there I knew something wasn’t right!
We waited in our room for a couple minutes and the nurse comes in and says one of the worst things I wanted to hear. “Your urine test came back negative” I was in shock and couldn’t understand why it was negative, when at the Er it was positive. So I explained to the nurse that I had been to the Er and both the urine and blood tests came back positive. She informed that maybe it is best to go back and get checked. So we did just that.
I remind you this was all during my husbands birthday! Which was not at all how we thought it was going to go.
We get to the er and they take my blood to check my numbers and they did an internal ultrasound. Once the internal ultrasound was done, I knew what was happening. But I still hoped and prayed that my blood test would say something else. We were in the er for what felt forever. We finally got the results and unfortunately I was loosing our baby, tears just came pouring down my eyes as they try to explain to my why and how it wasn’t my fault. But I just couldn’t think of anything else!
They gave us some privacy before discharging us and all we did was cry, no talking just both of us crying and mr trying to understand why! As the days passed they told me I would experience a period but it is my body having the miscarriage, I couldn’t even flush my own toilet! My husband would have to go in after my and flush it because I couldn’t and didn’t want to see the blood and wonder if I was flushing down my baby.
I couldn’t talk to anyone about it for weeks, my family would try and talk to me about their experience but I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I had just lost my very first pregnancy and why it had to happen to us, but as the weeks passed by I opened up more and started listening to some family members and friends experience and it just hit me that so many women go through something like this and I am not the only one.
A year passed last month on February 24th. A lot happened in 2020 which I am thankful for. I married my husband on 08-08-2020 in the backyard of our very first home! And I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby! This pregnancy has been complicated and I am high risk but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am due in May with a baby girl, we are calling Alaya.
I am honored to have found this project and I am happy that I can finally share my story in hopes that it helps anyone who reads it! Thank you!
Photos taken by Siesel Photography.
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