Destiny was her name and she’s my only daughter.
I remember how excited my husband and I were when we found out that I was pregnant. I was young and healthy and everything was going well with my pregnancy until…
I remember that day, we were at my Grandparents house watching the Super Bowl with my family. It started out to be a great day, everything was normal and then my stomach started to hurt a little and I thought it was time for a bathroom break. I went to the bathroom and saw a little blood and got nervous cause “that’s not supposed to happen,”
I was only 24 weeks pregnant. I told my husband I was bleeding and he immediately took me to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, I was immediately checked in. I was put in a room and was told to lay down and to wait until my Doctor calls and give directions. Well, the Dr. finally called and he told me to walk around and my bleeding should stop. This is our first pregnancy and trusted that the Dr knew what he was doing. So, my husband and I walked around the hospital floor, bleeding was a little lighter so I was told to go home and if I start bleeding again, to call my Dr or go back to the hospital.
What do you know, 2 days later, my stomach started to hurt more and bleeding was back. This time the pain felt different and it was on and off. All I kept thinking was, “this is not normal and this is not supposed to happen.” I was again, put in a room and this time it was hard for me to keep calm.
All I remember is that my husband was talking to the nurses and Dr and they were explaining to him that I was having contractions and that they needed to give me meds to stop it and they also needed to slightly tilt the bed to help me keep the baby in. So, they gave me meds, started an IV and tilted me. Not sure how long it was but I started to feel sick and wanted to throw up. I guess the tilting of the bed did made me feel nauseated and I threw up.
And all of a sudden I felt something come out below. This might be too much info but this is what truly happened to me. I started to cry and I told the nurse to check what happened. All of a sudden, nurses and the Dr was in the room and they told my husband and I that they see the sac and I will have to deliver.
This happened so fast and next thing we knew, I was giving birth and they had no way of stopping Destiny from coming out. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and I was able to hold her in my arms. We saw her sweet face, little finger and toes. But there was only one thing, the Dr said that her lungs weren’t fully formed and she had less than 50 percent to live.
So, at that moment, we had to do the hardest part which was to let her go. They gave her medicine so she can go comfortably and my husband and I saw my sweet baby Destiny take little breaths in my arms and she went to be with Jesus. I know that’s who she is with right then and right now and that’s what gave us peace that our Destiny was gonna be ok and we will see her again one day.
What happened to Destiny seemed like a bad nightmare that you wanna wake up from. Unfortunately it was real. We found out that the cause of my miscarriage was low progesterone. Six months after my miscarriage with Destiny, my husband and I got the good news that I was pregnant once again and this time they had to inject progesterone meds in me to help me with my pregnancy and I gave birth to a handsome boy who we named Adonis and then 4 years later we had another handsome baby boy who we named Dylan.
Our baby Destiny will always have a special place in our family and she will always be loved and remembered. Last year during the pandemic, I started a small business in memory of Destiny. It’s called Destiny’s Knots and I make hand knitted baby and throw blankets because when my baby girl took her last breath in my arms, the image of her wrapped in her blanket just gave me comfort. I also knew that I wasn’t alone in this painful journey and that the awareness of infant loss should be shared and known.
Thank you for letting me tell my story and so others can know it. One last thing I wanted to share that I read:
“As a child of destiny, you are destined to have peace and to be at peace with God. You are destined for God to never have a bad or evil thought against you. You are destined to accomplish whatever God has sent you here to do. Wherever you are now, you were destined to be there as part of God’s good plans for you. Whatever you are doing in life right now it is also part of God’s good plans for you.”
Photos taken by @dancingonthewave.
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