1. Describe the process of getting pregnant. Was it easy for you? Was it hard? Did you have to go through fertility treatment?
Getting pregnant after losing our boy was emotionally difficult as we were very discouraged and out of our 4 kids, took the longest to conceive, taking 7 months, whereas the previous longest it took to conceive was only 4 months.
2. What was the pregnancy like? Was it easy and smooth? Hard with a lot of pregnancy symptoms?
The pregnancy with our boy that we lost, Elijah, was I thought like my other pregnancies. I was very sick throughout all of my pregnancies and on nausea medication until delivery. With Elijah, even prescription medication stopped helping with the nausea. I was extremely tired.
3. Did you have a reason why your losses occurred?
With our miscarriage in 2019, I had a blighted ovum, so miscarried. There was no definite reason why we had a stillborn in 2024. It is assumed that I may have had an infection in my placenta.
4. How far along were you?
In 2019 I was 8 weeks along. In 2024, I was exactly 22 weeks
5. What are your babies names?
Our angel baby is Elijah Ray
6. What was the birthing/loss experience like?
In 2019, I labored at home for 8 hours and delivered the sac and placenta at home. In 2024, my water broke on its own at 22 weeks. Elijah’s heartbeat was lost in my womb. I had to be induced to deliver and was given a couple failed epidurals. When Elijah was born, it was the loudest silence I’ve ever experienced.
7. Did you get to spend time with your baby or get any keepsakes?
My husband and I spent a few hours with Elijah. We got his ashes put into a personalized urn. We have a weighted bear stuffed animal, weighing as much as Elijah did and the bear wears his hospital hat. We have a candle in memory of him. I also have a necklace with his name and birthstone. We have gotten a few other small momentos from some very generous and supportive non profits.
8. How was the medical treatment/support during your loss?
All doctors we came into contact with were very empathetic and gentle with us.
9. Did you receive support from family and friends after your loss?
A meal train was started for us which was helpful. We also received a few financial donations to get us by in the weeks following. As time has passed we feel we have gotten less support, however, amongst us, we say his name all the time.
10. How were your emotions after loss? (Angry, sad, scared, confused, etc)
We have had a mix emotions since our loss. Angry and sad were amongst the first emotions. We went through some support groups that have helped us to manage life since our loss, since
11. How did you know you were ready to try again?
We knew we were ready to try again when we lost Elijah, although, no one could ever take his place, as he is part of our family and our story forever.
12. What has the pregnancy with your rainbow baby been like?
The pregnancy with our rainbow baby has been full of many emotions. There is caution and lots of anxiety. There is also happiness and joy. We feel blessed to be expecting our rainbow baby and have been trusting in God more than we ever have before.
13. Is there anything special you do to remember your angel baby/babies?
To remember Elijah, we have a candle we light on October 15th, wave of light day. We also have a yard sign in his memory that we put out during the month of October and his birthday month, May. We also got a cake and sang to him on his first birthday, with our other children.
14. Is there anything you want others to know about going through loss?
Going through a loss is the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through. There is a whole loss community to connect to that is so supportive and that you can lean on through the toughest time. Time doesn’t make your loss better but you learn how to cope and continue to live life having gone through loss.
Photos taken by @brii.creativities.
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