Finding out that we were pregnant with our second child, in March 2025, was such a surprise. Our oldest was 7 at the time and adding to our family hadn’t even been a thought.
We were all so excited from the very first second to become a family of four. Big Sis was beyond happy to be that big sister and helped me keep track of how big baby was, how baby was feeling and eventually holding mamas tummy to feel baby move.
The pregnancy went well. Due to age and a history of postnatal preeclampsia we kept an eye on BP, vision, headaches, and swelling. Also due to age, I went in for an induction at 39 weeks. After 24 hours of the most intense contractions, I gave birth to my baby girl, Camilla Mae, on December 4, 2025. She was a healthy baby…passed all of the initial tests…we went straight to our room and she did so well that we were only there for 1 night before going home to start our new life.
Those first few weeks were spent cuddling and loving on our new baby. Her big sister was so helpful and was absolutely in love. We woke up on Christmas Eve morning, December 24, 2025 with plans to finish up all the Christmassy things and prepare for baby’s first Christmas Day.
By 7 am, my baby girl, Camilla Mae, stopped breathing in my arms. That whole morning is front and center in my mind, the sounds and what we saw…we will never forget any of it. My baby got to the ER and they did what they could but my little girl passed in front of us that day.
It’s been 3 months…and we still don’t have any answers as to what happened, why? We honestly don’t know if we ever will. I personally have experienced the loss of both parents and my sibling…this is the worst pain that I have ever felt. And to have to try to explain to my older child…there are no words.
We had 20 days with our Camilla Mae. And now we hold on to the forever we have to come when we see her again.
Right now, we are just trying to survive each day while raising our daughter. We are also hoping that we can add another to our family before our time is through. We want both Charlotte and our angel baby Camilla to have another sibling…and that’s where we are at.
Pressing on, thinking of my baby girl every second, while continuing on with a life where other people may not know what we lost. How empty we feel. But the future gives us hope…and knowing that we will all be together again someday.
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