Ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. After three early miscarriages, I began to lose hope. Then came my miracle—I found out I was pregnant again. This time, with every appointment, my baby continued to grow, and my hope grew right along with her.
On July 28, I started having contractions. My partner and I rushed to the emergency room because it was far too early. The doctors discovered I was already 3 centimeters dilated and almost completely effaced, so I was admitted to Labor and Delivery.
After days of contractions and labor, my water broke at 3:00 a.m. on August 2. That evening, at 10:15 p.m., I delivered my beautiful daughter, Leilani Dove Rose. She was only 19 weeks gestation. In an instant, I experienced a pain unlike anything I had ever known. All of the dreams and hopes I had for our future felt like they had shattered.
My sweet girl entered this world sleeping. She was supposed to arrive at Christmas, but instead she was born on my grandmother’s birthday. I miss her every single day, with every breath I take.
After losing Leilani, we learned that I have an incompetent cervix, a condition that makes carrying a pregnancy to term much more difficult. We later experienced another heartbreaking early loss. We went through every test possible, and the only issue doctors found was my cervix.
In my deepest grief, I turned to God. My faith became my strength when I had nothing left to hold onto.
Now, fast forward to May—I found out I was pregnant once again with what I truly believe is God’s miracle. We are expecting a baby boy in January. I underwent a cerclage procedure to help keep my pregnancy safe, and now all I can do is trust God’s plan, pray every day, and hope that this little boy comes home with us healthy, happy, and strong.
No matter what the future holds, Leilani Dove Rose made me a mother. She will always be my first baby, forever loved, forever missed, and forever a part of our family.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
Make sure to follow Journey For Jasmine on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik-Tok!
Listen to the Finding Hope After Loss Podcast!