Our story begins in the beginning of 2020, my husband Ryan and I were dating for a little over two years and I confessed to him my fears of not being able to get pregnant. I have always suffered with terrible periods and PCOS so I knew it would be a struggle. From the time I was a little girl I always wanted to take care of people and I knew God called me to be a mommy one day. So, we decided to start “not, not trying” by just getting off of birth control and being a little more “free” in the bedroom.
After a year of negative tests, two chemical miscarriages and a PROPOSAL, we decided to seek fertility help from South Jersey Fertility. This is where we discovered I had an 11cm fibroid in my uterine wall. It was literally the size of my uterus and doctors were very concerned that this was the cause of our fertility struggles.
We scheduled surgery and a week later found out we were pregnant with Francesca. Frankie was our hope, we never confirmed it was a girl but, I always knew in my heart she was. Finding out we were pregnant was so exciting but, also so scary because that fibroid was still in there with her taking up so much room. We made it to 11 weeks with our girl, we were scheduled for NIPT when I started bleeding and realized I was having a miscarriage. The hospital confirmed “no heartbeat” I was devastated and blaming my body for taking my child.
Shortly after that in August of 2021 I finally had surgery to have the fibroid removed but that meant no intercourse for 3 months. In December of 2021 after our first attempt at IUI we found out we were pregnant again! My heart was so scared of losing another baby that I stopped myself from even being excited. A few weeks went by and my HCG levels stopped going up, the doctors confirmed it was ectopic and I had to have methotrexate shots in my back to terminate the pregnancy or it could rupture my filopian tube.
We said goodbye to another baby. That made 4, I was defeated and my body was tired but we kept trying. In February of 2022 we had another chemical pregnancy making that a total of 5 losses now, I wanted to quit! We decided to stop trying until after my sisters wedding which was in October that year, I just needed a break, we needed a break, our mental health was crushed and our relationship was taking a toll. We made some really beautiful memories during this break and in the beginning of 2023 we started trying again.
Our second attempt at IUI came in March and it worked but, we were so cautious. I didn’t tell anyone except my fiancé that I had a positive test. I tested everyday for 10 days (even though doctors frown upon that) and then on week 8 we heard our baby’s heartbeat! I know not everyone is religious but, God spoke to my heart that day. He told me that everything would be okay and this was going to be our rainbow but, I was still cautious.
After 14 weeks we decided to tell everyone! We, along with the doctors were confident this baby was our fighter! We found out at week 16 we were having a beautiful baby boy! A little Greene Bean if you will. After week 20 and our anatomy scan I think I took my first real breath of relief. I knew now I could finally enjoy my pregnancy and stop worrying because it was all in God’s hands. In October of 2023 my husband and I finally had our dream wedding and I danced the night away knowing in just a few short weeks we would be bringing our baby home!
We are now 37 weeks pregnant and are scheduled to give birth on December 7th, our time has finally come. I can’t thank Journey for Jasmine enough for allowing us the opportunity to share our story and be a part of the rainbow crew! God bless everyone and remember there is always hope and strength in prayer. Look no further then our lord and savior and he will answer! After almost 4 years and 5 losses our prayers were answered, he doesn’t always answer when we want him to but, our time always comes!
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