Growing up we never thought growing a family would come with so many challenges. People talk about how newborn days & terrible twos are rough but people rarely discuss the really bad parts. They don’t talk about infertility, genetic issues, pregnancy loss, or stillbirth.
When we first decided to start a family we were devastated when we went to the very first ultrasound where no heartbeat was found. An excruciating week later our first pregnancy was over.
About 6 months after our first loss we got pregnant with our son, Tatum. I was filled with anxiety but our rainbow baby arrived at 39 weeks. I’d love to say everything was perfect but he had trouble breathing & bought himself a 6 day NICU trip. He’s now almost 4 and the happiest, sweetest little boy.
We found out we were pregnant again when Tate was 2.5. We got news back from our NIPT something “might” be wrong so we were referred to a genetic counselor. We were unfortunately very misled. We were told the chances of him having any abnormalities was low and the test was a false positive. We were told at every appointment he was perfect and doing so well.
At 21 weeks we went in for his anatomy scan. This is when the ultrasound tech told us “I’m sorry but there’s no movement. I can’t find a heartbeat”. Our Leo arrived sleeping the next morning after a long, traumatic birth. Later we found out he did have the very rare genetic disorder we were told was a false positive.
Things were hard for a long time. I had, and still do have, a lot of anger surrounding the situation. We decided we had to move, get away from the trauma, and relocate our family to a place where women & children are treated better. We sold most of our things & moved to Hawaii to heal our souls & raise our little ones in a supportive, family oriented environment.
Not long after we moved we found out we were expecting again. This pregnancy has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We’re so thankful but so scared at the same time. We’re expecting our rainbow baby girl in January. While we’ll never “get over” or forget about our time with Leo we can’t wait for all the joy a new baby can bring. We’re counting the days down until baby girl joins our family and can’t wait to hold her in our arms.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
Make sure to follow Journey For Jasmine on Instagram and Facebook!
Pin and help spread the project!
