you are good enough

To All The Other Moms: You Are Good Enough

I am not a perfect mom. In fact, sometimes I worry I am not even a good mom. My kids watch too much TV and play too many video games, we do not always eat the healthiest, I spend too much time on my phone, and I get frustrated and yell too often.

What I have realized is that quite simply, I cannot do it all. Like many of us, I work remotely full time, while also watching after my 1 year old daughter. My son is back in face to face school, but for a few months I was also having to help him stay on track with virtual school.  My husband and I often find ourselves too tired to cook and resort to take out or fast food. I am drained from the day and just want to zone out and browse my phone or watch TV.  Even the thought of having to play Mario again with my son or look at books with my daughter seems too exhausting.

I feel guilty because I feel like I am not doing enough with my kids. I feel like I am not appreciating every moment like I am supposed to.  I see activities on Pinterest or Facebook and think they would be great, but never get around to doing them. I feel like my kids are growing upd too fast and I have not spent enough time with them or done enough with them.  We tried to get outside more by going on walks as a family. It was great the first few times, but then my son started to complain and it became a chore to do it. We stopped going and now I feel guilty for not getting him outside more.

“We cannot expect ourselves to do it all.”

I will say it again. We cannot expect ourselves to do it all. For me, it was too much to work full time, watch my daughter, help with school, make sure to get exercise, cook healthy meals each night, create daily special activities, and also enjoy and cherish every moment of it.  We all do the best we can and if we have to let some things go, we have to give ourselves grace.  The important thing to remember is that we can never be perfect and have to stop holding ourselves to that standard.

I have vented to my mom before about how I feel like I am failing and I yell too much. She asked me if I ever remember any of the times she yelled at me as a kid.  And to be honest, I really do not. I find comfort knowing my kids will likely not remember. But that means I am just making myself feel bad over it and hanging on to that guilt, when I do not need to be.  The best thing to do is try my best to stay calmer next time, but not beat myself up if I fail.  Just keep trying.  Every day is a new chance to be a little better.

Despite all of the above and all of the ways I am critical of my mom skills, there are things that let me know I am not a complete failure like I sometimes think I am.

“Most importantly, my kids know I love them.”

Most importantly, my kids know I love them.  My daughter always runs over to me and gives me hugs. My son tells me I am beautiful and just beams when I tell him how proud I am of him. They are healthy and they are happy.  He still loves to come home and tell me what he learned in school or show me the pictures he drew.  They both fight over who gets to sit with me. They come to me for comfort when they are hurt or sick. For this, I know I am a good mom.

Sometimes, I lay awake worrying about them at night.  Things I worry about include whether they are making friends, doing well in school, eating healthy enough, getting outside enough, and many other things.  I know I do not always succeed in these areas, but the fact that I worry about it makes me know I am a good mom.

Deep down, I know I would do anything for my kids.  I would take away all the sadness and all the pain they may ever feel if I could.  I want to get them the things they need and want. I want to be better for them. That is how I know I am a good mom.

We are ALL good moms doing the best we can. And we are often too hard on ourselves. The COVID situation has only made things harder. We desperately need a break, but have no idea when that break is coming. Do not let yourself get sucked into thinking you are not good enough or are not doing a good job for your kids.

“You are good enough because you are their mom.”

You are good enough because you love your kids deeply.  You are good enough because you want to be better.  You are good enough because you are their mom.

We have the power to change how we view ourselves, but it can be hard to break out of that mindset. It is a constant battle for me. I want to take steps to improve, but have to stop beating myself up if I fail the first few times.  Take things one step at a time.  For me, the first thing I want to break myself of is being on my phone too much.  I have started by giving my son 15-20 min before bed of focused attention and do not let myself touch my phone.  It is a small step, but it can lead to bigger changes.

To all the moms out there, you are doing a good job and you are good enough. Do not let anyone else, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.  You are just what your kids need and no one does a better job for them than you.  


you are good enough
This picture was taken after I had a day of getting too frustrated. Both kids just wanted to be with me and fell asleep with me.

31 thoughts on “To All The Other Moms: You Are Good Enough”

  1. katherinedumont98

    Loved you article. It is so important to remember that we are enough and that we do good. You article is really heart warming.

    1. Beautiful post! Yes we need to remember that we are doing our best to be the best mom we can be to our kids. Yes we are good enough. Such a cute pic of you and your 2 kids!

  2. Excellent article. In today’s world, we seem to be comparing ourselves to what we see on television, in magazines, on billboards, in other people around us to seem to be ‘better.’ But in reality, we should remember that “that we are profoundly good enough – just as we are.”

    I addressed this in a similar article at

    1. This was so beautiful to read. Even though you describe a lot of your struggles with motherhood, there’s no perfect mom, I know without a doubt that you’re doing everything you can and your kids know they are loved. Maybe that’s enough

      1. What a beautiful real and raw post. I think what shared is something alot of us struggle with! I’m a new Mama this year and I won’t lie with Covid 19 present it’s been nothing like I thought it might be. I so appreciate your sharing your perspective. I needed to read what you wrote. Thank-you!

  3. Thanks for such a great article and opening yourself up to your readers. Knowing that you’d do anything for your kids is absolutely and completely enough!

  4. Such a great post. I 100% can relate. There are so many times I doubt myself as a mother and think I’m not doing as good as I should be, or feel guilty for doing something for myself or taking time away from my kids. But then someone tells me that my husband and I are doing such a great job raising our kids and how wonderful they are. My kids will hug me and tell me they love me multiple times a day. And at the core of it, if your children know without a doubt that you love them, you are doing enough.

  5. This is a great post. It feels good to have someone relay feelings about what other people may be going through too. Thank you!

  6. Riley | Motherhood Is A Ministry

    Thank you for sharing this personal battle. Being a mama is so hard when you’re second guessing yourself, and these are great affirmations.

  7. The mom guilt is no joke. Thank you for this encouraging post. We all need the reminder that we don’t need to be perfect to be a good mom.

  8. Beautifully written and a great reminder. I love the focused attention time as well. It can be difficult, especially if you have more than one child, but those are the moments that are most important.

  9. Marlieke Kemp-Janssen

    Great article! I think it’s a great reminder for other moms out there to not feel guilty. For your little one, every minute you spend with them is pure happiness, and as a mom you should experience happiness, not guilt.

  10. Soul of a Southern Home

    This is such an important reminder. It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of things! We all need to remember we are enough!

  11. Yes momma yes! Loved kids have all they need. You got this, she’s got this, we have all got this! Parenting is hard, draining, mentally mind boggling, so freaking frustrating, lol. So let’s make a pact to be easy on ourselves, breath, and learn to ask for help when we need it. Oh wait we can’t because of covid. Let’s just survive. Lol. We got this!!

  12. I love this! I think this is something that we all struggle with, especially during these unprecedented times. When I’m juggling my 3 year old twins, 6 year old daughter, and class of 39 online third graders, I feel like I’m never giving any of them my all.

  13. Beautiful vulnerable post. I love how you shared what your mother said … “She asked me if I ever remember any of the times she yelled at me as a kid. And to be honest, I really do not. I find comfort knowing my kids will likely not remember. ” It’s so important to share our experiences openly and honestly with each other …. there’s always greater and understanding and empathy that grows from that.

  14. The Try Hard Girl

    Beautiful and true! No mom is perfect or even happy all the time. Motherhood is truly nuts! Take each moment as they come!

  15. Mom guilt is so real. It can sometimes take over, but it’s important to remind yourself that you’re doing a good job. Thank you for this post, I can truly resonate. Sometimes the best one can do is love them. And take it one day at a time.

  16. I really love this article, it is so important to know that we as mothers reminded that we are all good enough for our family most especially for our kids. We are the only one who know everything about their needs.

  17. Thank you for sharing this post and for reminding us that we are enough. I agree with you that it is important that we accept the fact that we cannot do it all and that’s okay. It is about time that we learn to be kind and love ourselves. This is really a beautiful post. Thank you!

Leave a Reply