In March of 2022, after 11 years of no contact with my best friend from high school, he popped up on my “People you may know” on Facebook. I sent him a friend request and as soon as he accepted it, he started messaging me. We found out that I was still in Virginia while he was in Tennessee. That didn’t stop us though and within 2 weeks, he was already traveling over 600 miles to see me and by 1 month of us talking, I was already his girlfriend.
For my birthday in June of 2022, all I wanted was to spend it with him so this time I traveled to him. My 3 days with him came and went and we continued doing long distance.
June 20th, I took a test that was positive! I was pregnant with his baby and we couldn’t be more excited. In November, we decided it would be best for him to move to me as I had already found an obg and had my care started here plus a job that was gonna pay well for maternity leave. It was a relatively easy pregnancy, no issues and things were going so well! We found out it was a boy and began preparing for his arrival in February of 2023.
However January 22nd, 2023, I noticed that I hadn’t felt him move but chalked it up to me being nervous for my appointment the following day. By 4:30am, I had that gut feeling that something wasn’t right so we went to the ER. It was there we heard the dreaded words “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat.” They gave us the option to go home or be induced that day. We decided to be induced that day and by 6:38pm, our little boy was born.
We named him Auden James, or AJ. He weighed 7lbs and was 19 and 3/4inches long. The loss of our son hit us hard and very differently. By March, we were constantly fighting and we weren’t sure if we were gonna make it. He moved out and back to Tennessee in April. We did long distance again, with me traveling to see him every two months.
On July 16th, I took another test and found out I was pregnant again. This time we decided that I would move to him and we would continue growing our family in Tennessee. Since moving here, I’ve met his daughter who we get every weekend and we’ve found out we are having a baby girl in March of 2024.
Pregnancy after loss is the second hardest, the first was losing our son, thing I’ve ever had to endure. It’s constant anxiety, trying to feel joy but it coinciding with nervousness, and overanalyzing every symptom or lack of symptom possible. We are on weekly visits now and are hoping AJ watches over us and his baby sister, and she makes her arrival earthside.
*These pictures were taken as a way to honor Auden James’ first heavenly birthday and to remember our growing family of 5. AJ will always be with us.*
Photos taken by Shanda McReynolds-Spitzer.
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