In the Summer of 2022, I found out that I was pregnant. My husband Daniel and I were overjoyed, and enjoyed a healthy and uneventful pregnancy. At 37 weeks, I had a very fast and relatively easy labor. But things suddenly changed once my daughter was born. They placed her on my chest, and I knew something was wrong. The doctor quickly whisked her away, stabilized her and took her from the room.
Our Confusion turned to Fear when we learned our daughter had Tetrology of Fallot- a Heart Defect that is usually caught during Anatomy scans, but was missed with our girl. She took a NICU ambulance ride to UCSF in San Francisco, where it was decided that she would undergo open heart surgery at 5 days old. Unfortunately, due to complications from the surgery she never recovered. We made the decision to remove her from life support, and she died in our arms at 5 weeks old on March 29, 2023. Her name was Gwendolyn Isabella.
Further genetic testing revealed that her condition was hereditary, and could affect future pregnancies. After much research, time taken to heal, and listening to conflicting advice from various Health Care Professionals, we decided to try to get pregnant naturally. Unfortunately, this led to a Miscarriage in July of 2024, and an Ectopic Pregnancy in November of 2024.
We then decided to proceed with IVF in early 2025. Our first cycle resulted in only one viable embryo, which did not lead to pregnancy. We were devastated. A handful of months later, in August of 2025, I had yet another Ectopic Pregnancy.
We decided to take a break for the remainder of the year. While not tracking my cycle, I found out I was Pregnant in December of 2025. I have received a lot of support from my health care team, including extra testing and monthly OBGYN visits. As I write this, I am now 24 weeks pregnant with our Baby Boy, who so far has received great test results. I have experienced almost every emotion someone can these past few months. I honestly am not completely convinced I will bring a baby home. I have finally allowed myself to feel excitement and even purchase baby things! We can’t wait for August to meet our little guy, and we will be sure to tell him all about his Angel Big Sister.
Photos taken by Shelbi at Rustic Roots Collective.
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