This journey with my sweet little boy Timothy Boaz.
I will have to start by saying since I married my husband in November 2010 all I have wanted was to have a family, be a mommy.
After being married almost four years when I found out September 18th 2014 that I was pregnant I was so In shock that I took 7 pregnancy test just to make sure all of them still were positive. I was so excited and scared to be pregnant because it’s what I had wanted for so long. When I hit week 5 of pregnancy I became so sick, I threw up so much I was so faint All I could do was lay in bed all day because I couldn’t handle any smells or food,
But everyday I would talk to my baby in me and say mommy loves you so much even though your making her so very sick,
I was sick till 16 weeks. Then I was able to actually get out of bed and do things slowly.
It became very real around 13 weeks because I started feeling my baby moving and his little heart beat it was the most amazing thing ever.
It was such special moments I remember when my husband would just talk to that little baby like if he already knew it was a little boy, and he would tell the baby how he was going to teach him to do stuff and play ball and most important how to be a gentleman. Listening to my husband talk to our baby made me smile all the time. It was such sweet moments, and then the first time my husband got to hear Timothy’s heart beat it was so loud and strong. When the doctor turned on the Doppler and looked at us and said that’s your baby’s heartbeat Husbands face just lite up. It was the neatest exspirence ever.
People would tell me being so sick and stuck in bed for three months it will all be worth it when your holding your baby. Well I didn’t realize how that would really be, not realizing that only a few weeks later I would be holding my baby, but he wouldn’t be breathing and he would be so tiny yet so perfect.
At 17 weeks 5 days December 30th 2014
Is the day that changed my life.
That day was one of the first days physically I felt good, I wasn’t sick and I had a little energy. I could feel my baby moving and his little heartbeat. Made me smile every morning to feel my little baby move. That Tuesday I went out to the outlet stores I didn’t have any pain or any indication that something wrong was happening.
When I realized something was very wrong, I was in shock and started to panic- I laid on the floor and called my mom, I didn’t know what was happening but I knew something horrible was happening.
She tried to calm me and told me to call the 911, the next 15mins were so scary.
After being transported by ambulance to the hospital it was there was so much emotions running thru me I didn’t know what to think.
The emergency room doctor didn’t want to give me a for sure thought in what was happening but I knew I was loosing my precious baby, I just felt the sinking feeling in my heart. When I first arrived at the hospital they checked and my little boy still had a heart beat but due to the umbilical cord being pinched and I was only 17 weeks 5 days in my pregnancy there was nothing they could do to save him.
Baby Timothy Boaz went to be with Jesus before we got to meet him. He was born 12-30-14 at 11:38pm. He was 8in long and weighed 1/3 of a lb. he is perfect all his little fingers and toes and his tiny little nose and mouth.
In the years following my heart was shattered, it took time of healing before I could imagine holding another baby. God knew what we needed and on April 27th 2017 we welcomed our rainbow baby after a long difficult pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum and an incompetent cervix.
We have now been blessed with a little girl that was born October 23, 2020.
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