We live in Cambridge, UK. My husband and I got married in February 2022 and knew we didn’t want to wait long before trying for a baby. We had both always wanted to be parents. We found out we were expecting Mother’s Day on the 10th of March, 2023. We were absolutely over the moon and beyond excited to be starting this next stage in our lives.
We found out we were having a girl at 10 weeks because we had decided to get genetic testing. Everything was great (except absolutely horrific and brutal morning sickness). Every appointment was perfect and it had never crossed our minds that anything could go wrong. We were in that clueless bubble of first time parent happiness.
Three days after a flawless, routine 20 week scan I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst tummy cramps I’ve ever had. Not knowing anything was wrong and having been reassured everything was great just a few days before, I thought I’d eaten something bad and went back to bed. I went to work the next day with slight discomfort and what I thought was the beginning of pelvic girdle pain. When I got home I told my husband I wanted to go to the hospital and just check everything was okay and get some advice. We sat in the waiting room not really feeling any fear or anxiety. The doctor’s face dropped after the examination as they said I was already 4cm dilated and there was nothing that could be done. Our whole world fell apart. I had one of the worst labours possible, losing 1.5 litres of blood and needing emergency surgery to save my life.
Fast forward to today and we’re in the middle of a complicated and high risk pregnancy. Having had cervical cerclage surgery at 14 weeks, being placed on mandatory bedrest, finding out the umbilical cord only has 2 vessels, and being diagnosed with gestational diabetes. We count each day as a blessing as we reach 28 weeks gestation!
We still feel like we’re bracing ourselves for the worst…. But our little baby boy rainbow is so wanted and so loved and I hope no matter the outcome he can feel that love reaching him. So for now we will decorate his nursery, try to talk about “when” and not “if” and take maternity photos in this beautiful rainbow skirt to celebrate this little life.
Photos taken by Calin Dirstar.
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