Rainbows & unicorns
I never would have thought my adult life would revolve around rainbows and unicorns until the infertility world blew up in our faces.
My husband and I were married in July 2019. I finally got my fairy tale happy ending and we couldn’t wait for the next step of having a baby of our own. I figured we would come home pregnant from our honeymoon and have a baby 9 months later. I never could have imagined what the next 3 years would bring.
After the wedding, I went off birth control which I had been on for most of my life only to find I wouldn’t get a period for over 9 months. After fighting with my family doctor, we finally got sent to a fertility clinic.
A bunch of testing, a PCOS diagnosis and fertility medication helped us finally get our BFP! My morning sickness and perfectly raising HCG gave false hope that everything was going well. Our 7 week ultrasound made all that come crashing down. Our baby had a heart rate of 75, which was too low. We were given a 50% chance. 10 days later, I laid on the ultrasound table as the doctor said those dreadful words- “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat.” I decided on cytotec as a treatment for the missed miscarriage. Nothing like the “heavy period” I was prepared for, I gave birth to our little baby James at home with my husband.
After more rounds of fertility medication, our IUI worked. We were so happy (and terrified) that I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. Pregnancy after loss is like nothing you could ever prepare yourself for… your rainbow baby dying was even more unthinkable. Our beautiful Wesley was born on November 29, 2021. He was absolutely perfect.. just too small being born at 22 weeks and weighing just over 1 pound. Wesley passed away in my husband’s arms almost 2 hours after he was born. A huge part of me died along with my son that day. The next few months are a foggy nightmare that I could never wake up from.
After another sonohysterogram, I got the possible diagnosis of an Unicornuate uterus which is a rare genetic condition when only half the uterus forms. The live birth rate is 29% and preterm birth risk is 44%. I’m not sure where the courage came from to keep going but somehow we did.
After more fertility treatments I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. I was holding my breath until we could get to 24 weeks (viability week) so this baby could have the chance Wesley never did. With the help of high risk doctors, medications, biweekly ultrasounds, we made it to 31 weeks and 6 days. An emergency C-section confirmed my unicornuate uterus and gave us our tiny little warrior. Malcolm Reid was born Sept 27 2022 weighing 3lb 14oz. We spent 1 month in the NICU before finally bringing our baby home.
Some days I can’t believe he is here. Some days I’m so happy I could burst. Some days I miss my babies so much I can’t stand it. Some days the anxiety and PTSD are crippling. But at the end of each day, I’m so thankful for our double rainbow that this unicorn uterus gave us against all odds.
Photos taken by R&J Photos.
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