Rainey’s Story

Rainey and Isaac tried to get pregnant for 3 years after they got married. They suffered 1 chemical. She tried to get help from her doctor to regulate her cycles but her doctor would not help her or give her a reference for a fertility doctor. They continued trying all they could with different vitamins, tracking and different methods.  She eventually gave up her dream for being a mother then three months later found out they were pregnant.

They were over the moon. But looking back Rainey was always afraid of losing her baby because of how long it took for them to get there. She had just started to feel like everything was going to be ok and how everything fell into place for this child. Then they found out that the baby was lost at 10 weeks and waited to naturally miscarry.  She later passed baby at 12 weeks. 

The wait for the baby to pass was one of the worst times in their lives especially for Rainey. Her body still thought it was pregnant and was a constant reminder that her baby was gone. The labor was the worst pain she had ever felt she started labor on a Tuesday morning at 12am and continued till the following Thursday when she passed baby.

Rainey had always loved the name of Max especially for a girl so the couple decided that they would name their angel Max. They unfortunately never found out the gender of their baby but mama always thought baby was a girl and decided to call baby accordingly so that baby was more real in their eyes and to those they told about her instead of calling baby it.

Rainey was so angry she threw all her pregnancy tests away. She did not realized that one of her cats stole one of the tests which she found later on mother’s day when trying to make a change in their house to keep herself distracted of the day. She was so thankful to find the test and made a memory/ box of what ifs for Max.

Rainey did loose some friends because they did not treat her as a “real” mom. She did get support from some family and friends. She will always remember those who were there for her and her husband.

All Rainey ever wanted to do in her life was to be a mother and knew her dream could not be over. She did not want to wait to long before trying again because how long it took to get Max. She found a new doctor with her loss and was advised to wait 3 months before trying again and was put on some medication due to her PCOS. They tried for several months.  They got another chemical a few months in.  She ended up taking a break of trying again.  They found out they were pregnant again a few days before their first anniversary of their loss.

With their rainbow baby Rainey could not let her mind feel safe in the new pregnancy.  When she first saw the first test with the faint lines she dismissed it as another possible chemical.  As the pregnancy continues to progress a little bit of her distant feeling passes. They went and got ultrasounds every week to see if baby still had a heartbeat.  Once the baby started to kick Rainey they were able to not get ultrasounds as often. As their pregnancy progressed Rainey developed high blood pressure and had preeclampsia. Her doctor told her that they would induce at 34-35w. Two days before her inducement day her blood pressure jumped and they went to the hospital on October 19, the one year anniversary of Max’s due date. Her rainbow baby was born the next day via emergency c-section, October 20, making his birthday a true rainbow after a storm. They will always remember the pain of what could have been, but will have a celebration the very next day.

Last year on Max’s due date the couple had an intimate birthday party to celebrate her short life. They buy a small birthday and Christmas gift for Max each birthday/Christmas. Rainey had always hoped to share her love for American girl dolls with Max.  They decided to buy matching pajamas set for her and her dolls for a birthday and Christmas gifts. One day if Max ever has a sister then she will get her sister’s “handmedowns”.

Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.

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