In 2024, after almost two years of separation, we found out we were pregnant. We already had our daughter, Arya, and thought we knew what our family would look like. He was our surprise reconciliation baby. Our promise from God for restoration. We were finally moving forward.
When I learned he was a boy, I felt the Lord place the name Jonah on my heart. Jonah means dove in Hebrew. He was my little worshipper, always dancing in the womb at church.
At 27 weeks, I noticed Jonah was not moving as much. I went into labor and delivery and was placed on the monitor. His non stress test was reactive, and I was told everything looked fine. My midwife was not concerned and told me not to worry about counting kicks until 28 weeks. She said he might just be lethargic.
But something in me knew.
Not listening to my gut and leaving the hospital that night will stay with me forever. On the way home, I felt one small kick and even joked with my mom that he was just teasing me and that he was okay.
Jonah passed away in my sleep that night.
The next morning, when I still did not feel movement, I scheduled an ultrasound for peace of mind. Deep down, I still believed everything was okay. I trusted my medical team.
But at that appointment, I heard the words no mother should ever hear. There is no cardiac activity.
The rest of that day and night are a blur. I was induced the following day, and on August 9, 2024, my sweet dove was born sleeping.
God was the only way I survived that loss.
My husband and I fell apart again. I was drowning in grief. But slowly, I found pieces of peace in church, in meeting other loss moms, in supporting stillbirth ministries, and in donating my breast milk to NICUs across Florida.
I truly believed Jonah was our last baby, and I told myself I could be okay. The thought of trying again terrified me.
But God had other plans.
My husband and I found our way back to each other, and in September 2025, we found out we were expecting our rainbow baby.
Our son Noah will be born June 5, 2026.
Noah means comfort and rest. In the Bible, both the rainbow and the dove are part of Noah’s story. There could be no other name for our third baby.
This pregnancy has been different. I finally feel heard. The extra monitoring has been a gift. And I will never stop speaking about the importance of knowing your baby’s movements and advocating for yourself.
We carry Jonah with us in everything.
We are so grateful to God for our growing family, our daughter Arya, our sweet Jonah, and our Noah.
One day, we hope to start a ministry to support other loss families. Until then, we will continue to pour into the ones who carried us through.
Photos taken by Khloe Koz Photography.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
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