My name is Monika, a Canadian sharing my journey of losses, heartbreaks, angel babies, and my precious rainbow baby.
I met my husband in 2015. We got engaged in 2019 and married in July 2022.
On Family Day, February 19, 2023, we discovered we were pregnant. The excitement and nerves were overwhelming as this was something we had planned and hoped for. Seeing the positive pregnancy test felt surreal.
However, our joy was short-lived. At my first ultrasound at nine weeks, our doctor told us, “I’m sorry, but there was no heartbeat found. You are going to go through a miscarriage.” I was unprepared for these words, which I never thought would apply to me. All I could manage to say was “okay,” as my mind raced with questions and emotions.
A month after the miscarriage, as I began my healing journey, another challenge arose. In April 2023, I was rushed to the hospital with severe pain and bleeding. An OB explained that the miscarriage had not fully passed, and I needed surgery to prevent complications. This setback made my emotional, mental, and physical recovery even harder.
By December 2023, we felt ready to try again. We soon found out I was six weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. Our joy was tempered with fear. On December 21, just two days after finding out, I started to bleed and realized I was miscarrying again. The heartbreak was indescribable.
After a few months of healing, I felt ready to try again. In April 2024, I found out I was pregnant, the same month I had miscarried the previous year. While it was bittersweet, both my husband and I were ecstatic yet fearful. Our second rainbow baby is already so loved and wanted. Despite the fear and uncertainty, hope has grounded us through this journey.
This pregnancy has been a blessing. Our baby’s due date is December 21, 2024. Last year, this date brought us heartbreak, but this year, it will bring us our miracle.
Photos taken by @fazsphotography
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