In 2019 I fell pregnant with my first child only to find out a month before I gave birth that it was triplets. It was a shock but I was excited at the same time. My pregnancy journey was not easy, I had every single symptom you can think of times a 100 and the father of the child wanted nothing to do with the children so I was doing it alone with the support of my family of course.
At 24weeks I went in for my check up and they told me my cervix had an opening and the babies were not viable so it’s a possible miscarriage, but I was immediately put on progesterone which only helped for two weeks and at 26weeks my mucus plug came out and I was rushed to hospital and I was told I was in labour. I had an emergency c section and all three babies were alive but we’re the tiniest babies I had ever seen they weighed 700g, 710 and 720g.
Their names are Onthatile, Oarabile and Omolemo.
I didn’t get to hold them until the next day and even then I only held their hands. On the third day I got discharged the Dr’s came in to tell me Omolemo had passed on and later in the evening when I had just gotten home I received a call telling me Onthatile had also passed on.
I was now left with one child and everytime my phone rang my heart stopped because I thought it was the hospital calling to tell me he had passed on too. He was in the NICU for 4 months fighting for his life and I had to stay strong for him, I couldn’t breakdown or just shutdown and Lord knows that’s exactly how I felt like doing but I couldn’t, I had a little warrior fighting for his life and the least I could do was be there for him.
One of of the worst days was when I went to cremate the two and had to come back to hospital and smile and be strong for him like I hadn’t just buried two pieces of my heart.
He was discharged after his 4 months stay in the NICU but he still had breathing issues, after a month at home he died in my hands while we were rushing him to the hospital as I had noticed that his breathing had changed.
The support from my family was amazing, I don’t think I would have made it through all that without them. Everyone came on board my sister, her husband and her children, my mother, father, brother everyone…my sister and her husband took turns to take me to hospital every single day and everyone else took turns in going with me and just being there with me in the hospital. It was an emotionally and financially taxing journey and my whole family came on board.
I was going to grief counseling while Oarabile was still in hospital and was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, I was just so numb and my mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on and to this day I am still struggling to wrap my head around the trauma I went through but it does get easier to live with it.
I started a foundation in their honour. OL Trio Foundation supports mothers and brings awareness on premature births so their legacy will always live on through the foundation.
My story does have a happy ending because in April 2020 I gave birth to my rainbow twins, my little pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They were not planned but they came at a perfect time in my life. They are also premature babies but luckily with no complications thus far, they will be turning 9 months soon and my mother named them just before she passed away Ipeleng and Raepela meaning we are proud.
When it comes to loss, what I have learned is that the pain does not go away, you just learn to live with it but one thing for sure you are never ever alone there’s a whole tribe of us willing to listen and cry with you and just heal together.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
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