My husband and I got married in 2017 and decided right away to try to have a baby. We were so sure it would happen and so excited for the whole process. Almost a year later, we still were not pregnant and decided to seek outside testing and help. We found out that really the only way we would be able to have a baby would be through IVF. We were still determined and ready to start the process. We had ordered all of the medication and were gearing up to start the whole process when miraculously we got pregnant! Unfortunately we lost our first sweet baby at 6 weeks. We were devastated but tried to hold out hope for the IVF process still. We knew that was what would help us start our family. We got ready to start the process again, and found out with our initial blood work that we were pregnant again. This pregnancy was so unexpected, but we were thrilled, until one night I woke up in excruciating pain. We found out it was an ectopic pregnancy, and I had to have emergency surgery the next day. We were so lucky to be monitored closely in the beginning because of our struggles. My doctor said my tube was very close to bursting.
It took us a few months to be ready again to start the IVF process. When the time came, we were able to have 4 viable embryos – 1 girl and 3 boys. We decided to transfer our baby girl first. We prayed and hoped that she would take and our pregnancy would progress and it did! We had one scare at 6 weeks with a subchorionic hemorrhage, but after that point had a wonderful pregnancy. I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl in June of 2019. She is the absolute light of our lives and we could not be more blessed to have her!
Prior to the IVF process, we had only planned on two children, but after having 4 embryos we decided that we wanted to have all 4 children. In our minds, it had worked once, so it would work again. When our daughter turned 2, we decided we would try again for our next baby. We were so hopeful and sure that it would happen. IVF had worked before, obviously it would work again. We transferred our next embryo and found out we were pregnant. We were thrilled and so sure that this baby would be successful like his sister, but unfortunately we lost him too. After this loss, my doctor ran a blood test and found out that I have a blood clotting disorder that was causing my body to be unable to carry a baby. To us, this only reiterated that our daughter is a true miracle. I shouldn’t have been able to carry her to term without substantial medication.
With this new information, I was put on a daily stomach injection leading up to our next transfer (that would carry on until 6 weeks postpartum) to help keep our baby safe. We were again pregnant after the transfer and somehow still lost the pregnancy. Devastated is an understatement. We just didn’t understand how finally knowing the cause of our losses and finally having a solution could still result in a loss. We had one embryo left and decided after a few months that we would try one more time. We had only had success in at least getting pregnant from our transfers, so we were hopeful with an increased dosage in medication that this pregnancy would be successful. This transfer, however, did not take and we were left with no embryos remaining.
IVF is an expensive process and we were not sure we could go through it again. We weren’t sure about the expense or the emotional toll of more rounds of IVF. After some time, we decided that we were not done having children. We went from picturing a home filled with 4 children running around to hoping we could have just one more. I knew in my heart I was not done having children, so we decided to go through the IVF process again. We were waiting for my next cycle to start so we could move forward once again, and fortunately for us, that cycle never came!
I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with our miracle boy. We are beyond thrilled and so excited to get to meet this sweet boy after the struggles of the last few years. Our daughter is so ready to be a big sister and talks to her brother every day telling him it’s time to come out. We keep reminding her that he still has some time left in Mommy’s belly, but we love that she can’t wait to meet him and play with him. We will always mourn the losses of our 5 babies, but our two rainbows give us hope and joy moving forward.
Photos taken by Jayna Denbow with Little Dove Portraits.
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