How to Deal with an Unsupportive or Insensitive Husband During Pregnancy

If you are pregnant, and your husband or partner is not being supportive, you may be feeling frustrated and alone. It can be very difficult to cope with an unsupportive spouse or partner during pregnancy. However, there are things that you can do to make the situation more bearable. In this blog post, we will discuss how to deal with an unsupportive husband during pregnancy.

Pregnancy can be a difficult time for expectant moms even when they have a supportive partner. You are going through so many physical and emotional changes. The pregnancy hormones can cause mood swings, which some people may have a hard time understanding and dealing with. The pregnant partner is dealing with a lot of physical changes and hormonal changes. Not to mention all the new responsibilities that come along with pregnancy and preparing for a baby. Each pregnancy can be different, so even if this is not your first child, you will still need to have good support in place. It can be hard enough dealing with all of these things on your own, let alone when you feel like you have to carry the load by yourself because your partner is not being supportive.

If you ever are a victim of domestic violence or domestic abuse, please seek out professional help. You never have to tolerate being with an abusive husband or partner. You can always call the domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233.

Close up of a pregnant woman's belly and her partner standing behind her, holding her hand.

Unsupportive Vs. Unsure

There is a difference between a partner who is being unsupportive and one that is unsure what to do. Some men or other partners may be unsure of how to show support during pregnancy because this is the first pregnancy they have gone through with someone. In this case, it may be helpful to talk to your husband or partner about what you need from them. Explain that you need their support and love during this time. Do not be afraid to be specific and state exactly what you are needing. We often expect our partners to just know what we need, but they often times do not know unless we tell them.

Husbands and partners that will be first time parents may be scared of all the changes happening or just plain unsure what to expect. If this was an unplanned pregnancy, they may be dealing with all of the conflicting feelings that go along with it. They may show the fear by withdrawing, staying silent, or being more tense or moody than normal. It is crucial to remember that this is a time when you both need to be there for each other and try to build a stronger relationship. Pregnancy can be a good time to strengthen your relationship and take time to work on any relationship issues that may come up.

Try getting them involved in various aspects of the pregnancy. They can help put together nursery furniture, help pick the baby names, and attend the ultrasound appointments. This will help them feel more involved and invested in the pregnancy. You can even buy them some pregnancy or baby books made just for husbands and partners. This will give them a crash course on everything pregnancy related and help get them more excited about the baby.

Man with a confused look with hands on his head.  He is looking at an open laptop.

The Importance of a Good Support System During Pregnancy

Pregnancy brings a lot of new changes. These changes can be very overwhelming, especially if you are going through it alone. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to have a good social support system in place. This can be other family members or close friends that you trust and can rely upon. These are people you can turn to during a tough time both before and after the new baby is born. Perhaps you know some other pregnant women that are going through something similiar. You can provide support to each other and help normalize all the new changes taking place.

Having a supportive partner is great, but it is not the only type of support you need during pregnancy. It is important to have multiple people you can rely on for a lot of different things. For example, your partner may be great at providing emotional support, but not so great at providing physical support. In this case, you would want to have someone else you can rely on for things like help around the house or getting the groceries,

If you will be taking maternity leave, see if there is a family member or friend who can also provide support if your partner cannot take time off of work. Unlike what some people may think, maternity leave is not a vacation. You will be exhausted, physically recovering, and getting used to your new routine. If someone can help you with even some little things around the house, it can really go a long way.

The bottom line is that pregnancy is a lot easier when you have a good support system in place. If you are feeling isolated or alone, reach out and connect with others. There are many resources available to pregnant women, so take advantage of them. You can even reach out in online message boards or pregnancy due date groups to women who are at the same place in their pregnancies.

Remember, if you feel you might be struggling with depression during pregnancy or postpartum depression, you are not alone. You can take the first steps in seeking help through your healthcare provider or a therapist. It is never shameful to ask for the help you need. It does not matter what kind of depression you are experiencing, you can always benefit from reaching out for help. A lack of support during this time can lead to even more stressful times and can interfere with the bonding between you and your baby.

Group of women standing next to each other with their arms around each other and smiling.

What Does a Supportive Partner Look Like?

A supportive husband or partner is someone who is there for you during the good times and the bad. They will help you whether you are in early pregnancy or all the way in the third trimester. They are interested in your pregnancy and ask how you are feeling. Good partners will help around the house and with other children, if you have any. A supportive partner is also understanding when you have mood swings or need some extra attention. They will provide emotional support and a safe space to share your feelings.

They can provide physical support by helping you do things you cannot do as your belly grows and your pregnancy progresses. Things like helping more around the house, running errands, or getting the groceries for you. They will also be there to hold you and provide comfort when you are feeling down or having a tough day. Knowing that we all have our own flaws is another key to strengthening your relationship. No one is perfect and we all have places we could stand to improve. Sometimes we may just need someone to point it out to us before we truly understand how they can be a hindrance. Admitting we have these flaws and working on them are what helps make a great partner.

The most important thing a good partner does is make you feel loved, appreciated, and valued. Whether you are the pregnant wife or the supportive husband, feeling like a valued member of the team is what will help you both get through this pregnancy. Overall, you should feel you are in a positive relationship where you both listen to each other’s needs. Keeping open communication is the best way to make sure both of your needs get met.

Man and pregnant woman dressed in red standing in front of water.  They are smiling and he is supporting her belly.

Signs of an Unsupportive Husband or Unsupportive Partner

In a perfect world, you would always have your partner’s support. Unfortunately, not all partners are like this. There are some common signs that may indicate that your husband or partner is not being supportive during your pregnancy. If you notice any of the following, it may be time to talk to your spouse or partner about their level of support:

-Your husband or partner seems uninterested in your pregnancy. They do not ask how you are feeling or show any excitement about the baby.

-Your husband or partner seems resentful of the time and attention that you are giving to your pregnancy, especially if this is the first baby. They may make comments that indicate they feel like they are being left out or that you are more focused on the baby than on them.

-Your husband or partner is not helpful around the house. If you are dealing with morning sickness, fatigue, or other pregnancy symptoms, your husband or partner can be helpful in many ways. They can bring you a glass of water when you are dealing with morning sickness or give you foot massages when your feet are hurting. They can help by pitching in more with chores or other errands. If they will not help with any of these things, you may need to look deeper at your relationship.

-Your husband or partner criticizes your pregnancy weight gain, body changes, or food cravings. A pregnant woman goes through so many changes in their body during pregnancy. Your husband or partner should be supportive, not critical. Unkind comments like this can also indicate deeper relationship problems and a lack of respect for you. Plus, it can cause you more emotional distress than what you are already going through.

Man and woman sitting on couch.  They are fighting and look unhappy.

How to Handle An Unsupportive Husband or Partner

If you find yourself in a situation of not having the support you need from your partner, there are some things you can still do. The best relationship advice is to always try to have open communication with your partner. There are a lot of things that could potentially be resolved if you are just open about what both of you need. It is important to let them know how you are feeling and what you need from them. If they are not aware of your needs, they cannot meet them. Nine months is a long time to go, and will probably feel even longer, if you do not have good communication. Be assertive but also respectful in how you communicate your needs to them.

-Take care of your mental health. Make sure you spend time practicing good self-care. This is important not only for you, but also your unborn child as well. It is also a good idea to seek out a therapist to talk to if you would find it helpful. You can either go alone or go with your partner. This can be a great way to work on the emotional health of both of you and get a better understanding of what the other person is going through. Sometimes having a neutral party to help you talk things through can be incredibly valuable.

-Talk to your husband or partner about your expectations. It is possible that they are not aware of how their behavior is affecting you. Sometimes they can get caught up in their own emotional needs and do not realize they are not paying close attention to what you need. If you have a discussion, it can bring the issue to their attention and may help to improve the situation.

-Set boundaries with your husband or partner. If they are not respecting your wishes, it may be necessary to set some boundaries in order to protect yourself. Have a conversation about what you need while remaining calm, yet firm. Let them know the most effective way to help you and the kind of support you need from them.

-Consider taking some prenatal classes together. This can be a great way to bond over the pregnancy journey you are going through together. There are some classes even made specifically for dads. The classes can help offer support and have a positive impact on his confidence.

-Talk about your birth plan with your husband or partner. This can help him feel more involved in the pregnancy and the birth process. It can also help to ease any anxiety he may have about the upcoming delivery room events and make your partner feel he is part of the process.

-Try making lifestyle changes together. You can do things like cut out junk food, start exercising together, or meditating. These changes can help to improve your mood and make you both feel better. They can also be a great way to spend more time together and have some quality bonding time.

-Find an activity outside the house you can do together. This could be something like going on walks, taking a cooking class, or trying a new restaurant together. It can be a great way to get out of the house and do something fun together. After the baby is born, you may not have as much time to spend together, so do it now while you can.

Man and pregnant woman standing in front of a cutting board with mushrooms.

How Can I Support My Husband or Partner?

It may be true that you are the one going through all of the physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. That does not mean you should not also be supportive of your partner. It is always the right thing for both of you to provide support to each other. Pregnancy and the unborn baby will affect both of you, even if it is not in the same capacity. There are ways you can be supportive of your partner during this time.

-Try to be understanding of any mood changes or anxiety your partner may be experiencing. You can be supportive by being a good listener and letting him know you are always there if he needs to talk.

-Let him know that you are there for him and want to help in any way you can. This can be things like providing reassurance or helping him understand what is going on with you and the baby during the pregnancy and the first year after they born. If he is more of a research person, you can provide more scientific literature about pregnancy and babies to provide some comfort to him.

-Remind him that he already is or will be a good dad and that you appreciate he is hard worker. If this is your second child, or more, have him spend some quality time with your current children. It will help remind him that he has been through this before and knows how to be a great dad. This can help to build up his confidence and strengthen your relationship. They want to feel valued just as much as you do.

-Encourage him to participate in the pregnancy as much as he wants to or is comfortable with. This could be things like going to doctor’s appointments, reading books about pregnancy and childbirth, or attending prenatal classes with you.

-Make sure he knows that his role in the pregnancy is just as important as yours. Being a parent will be a full time job for both of you. His support and love are crucial during this time, as is yours. Men can sometimes provide a different perspective, so make sure to take his ideas and concerns seriously.

Man and pregnant woman dressed in white standing in a field.  His hand is on her belly.

No one has a perfect pregnancy, but hopefully with a little effort, yours can be a happy and healthy one! It is important for your family welfare to get on the same page and be the best version of you that you can be for your partner. And they should strive to do the same for you. Everyone has a bad day every once in a while and it may make things more tense, but not every day should be a bad one.

These tips can help to improve things if you are feeling unsupported by your husband or partner. Just remember to also be supportive of them, as this is a joint journey. Pregnancy is a time full of changes and challenges, but it can also be a beautiful and special time for both of you. With a little patience and understanding on both sides, you can hopefully turn things around!

What things helped you the most during your pregnancy? What kind of support did you most need? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

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