My husband and I waited a few years to try for a baby after getting married. We wanted to enjoy traveling together, become established in our careers, and buy our home. We were ready to start trying the summer of 2022. We got pregnant fairly quickly and were so excited to have a baby.
Unfortunately, around 10 weeks we found out that I had had a missed miscarriage and needed a D&C. We were heartbroken. Thankfully, my doctor could do the D&C with no issues since our baby had already passed. This is medically referred to as a spontaneous abortion. Since we had already gotten bloodwork, we were able to find out that our baby was a girl and had Turner’s Syndrome. We were told this was a random first trimester miscarriage and was unlikely to happen again, and it didn’t.
A few months later we became pregnant again. Everything was going smoothly and we had no reason to suspect any issues with this pregnancy. The genetic testing came back normal and we found out we were having a baby boy. We named him Oliver. We thought for sure we were getting our rainbow. Unfortunately, in March of 2023, my water broke unexpectedly at only 14+5 weeks (PPROM). We were referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialist. At this appointment, we were told that I had no amniotic fluid left around our baby, which causes severe health defects. He would pass away in the womb or only live a few minutes following birth. As far as my health, I was at high risk for infection, sepsis, placental abruption, etc. There was nothing we could do to save our baby and the MFM made it clear that the pregnancy needed to end for my own health and safety. However, this time my doctors weren’t allowed to do the abortion procedure, D&E, due to Kentucky’s strict 6 week abortion ban. To be clear, my body had already begun the process of ending the pregnancy with my water breaking, but wasn’t finishing the process on its own. Our only options were to wait for our baby to pass away, my body to fully go into labor, or to get an infection making me “sick enough” for my doctor to be able to help me. My husband and I agreed that we couldn’t risk my own health/life and my future fertility.
Making the choice of termination for medical reasons was traumatic enough itself, but having to find care 7 hours away in another state and endure the process alone hearing the screams of protestors made it even worse.
Doctors couldn’t give us a reason for my water breaking early. The most likely causes were cervical insufficiency (when the cervix shortens or dilates prematurely) or infection. I personally had a feeling it was cervix related after doing my own research and reading other women’s stories, but was told we didn’t have proof of changes with my cervix. I asked for a cerclage in my next pregnancy, which is a stitch around the cervix to keep it high and closed. Without proof of cervical insufficiency, a preventative cerclage was not offered to me.
I was recommended by the first MFM to do a “wait and see” approach in which they would check me frequently starting at 16 weeks and only do the cerclage if needed. My husband and I didn’t feel comfortable with this plan. My water broke at only 14 weeks previously and we couldn’t risk another loss with the added complications from KY’s abortion ban. I continued to research and found an MFM that specializes in two different types of cerclage procedures and is located in a neighboring state with different abortion laws. This doctor listened to me, offered to do a preventative cerclage procedure between 10-12 weeks of pregnancy, and assured me that he would be able to take care of me if the worst happened again. Finally, we felt comfortable and safe enough to try again.
I became pregnant and went to get the cerclage at 11 weeks. When the doctor checked my cervix prior to the procedure, he found that my cervix had already shortened. Cervical insufficiency is typically diagnosed with a cervix measurement of 2.5cm or less and I had measured at 1 cm. We finally were given the reason for my previous PPROM and were able to do something about it proactively this time. I’m now holding our rainbow baby girl, Cecilia, who happened to be born on national rainbow baby day. I can hardly believe it. I will forever be grateful to this MFM and the cerclage for keeping me pregnant and allowing me to experience a joyful pregnancy.
Photos taken by Ginger Snaps Photography.
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