On August 6, 2015, I was working at a call center. My shift was coming to an end and I had signed up to work overtime. The team lead walked over to my cubicle and asked that I call home because it was an emergency. I immediately gathered my things and stormed out of the call center. When I turned my phone on, I received phone calls from the police station. I was not informed on what happened. All I knew is that a police officer was on the way to pick me up near my job and take me to the police station.
Hours later, I learned that my infant son CJ passed away. He was only 3 1/2 months old. This was not a good introduction to motherhood. I fell into deep depression and I was left with unanswered questions. I wanted to heal and I didn’t necessarily know how. People would ask me how my son passed away and it was not easy to explain. It felt like a part of me went with him when he passed away. I kept asking God to stop the hurt and to heal my heart.
I started a nonprofit organization called The Baby Stewart Foundation. I turned my tragedy into triumph once I started helping other families heal from bereavement and providing them with free access to baby necessities.
In 2017, I gave birth to my daughter Chloe. My daughter truly saved my life. Chloe bought so much joy inside of my life. In 2019, I gave birth to my son Ashton. He is the most amazing little man. Ashton always finds a way to make my day. The last cub I gave birth to was in 2023. My darling baby Caylee was a surprise and a blessing.
I just want mothers to know it takes a lot of courage to have a baby after loss. Give yourself as much time as you need on your grief journey. Find a good circle of support. I always knew I was destined to be a mother and I am forever CJ’s mother.
Photo taken by Chloe Stewart.
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