I was in a very toxic marriage for a few years and became pregnant with a baby boy named Noah easily without any treatments. I found out on Valentine’s Day that I was pregnant little did I know my whole world was about to change. My pregnancy was hard with all day sickness at multiple times of the day.
I went into preterm labor with PPROM on the night of June 8, 2022 where my water broke at the hospital. Noah was born at just 21 weeks at 1:02am and the Lord allowed me to hold him and gave me an hour for him to have the tiniest heartbeat, he then later passed at 2am. I told my mom that night there must be a reason for losing him, and that I wanted to help other families who experienced baby loss. I was given a box from the hospital with a book, his little hat, blanket and other small grief items. I was blessed to have him in my room for 12 hours.
A week later I went to a checkup appointment and the midwife looked at my stomach and didn’t like that it hadn’t gone down at all. She ordered an ultrasound which then resulted in a few weeks later of an MRI. On the MRI it showed I had an 8cm uterine fibroid and my options were surgery, let it grow and hope there is fertility in the future, leave it alone as it could grow larger and cause more issues. Since I was 29 I chose to have surgery. My surgery was in August and everything went well for the surgery.
After the loss months later the toxic marriage finally ended. I always knew in my mind that Noah was my little hero and saved my life in more than one way as I would have never known that I had the fibroid and that I could escape from a life of mental and emotional abuse. Months after Noah’s father left I started living life and enjoying it for the very first time.
God blessed me with a chance at moving forward and that is when I met Kyle the most amazing man. We talked for weeks, fell in love and got married in June 2025. We went on the most wonderful Honeymoon where we spent 3 whole weeks together seeing the most beautiful sights of Yellowstone & Glacier National Park. We had talked about wanting children and Kyle always lets me talk about my Noah and supports me in so many different ways.
We found out on August 17, 2025 that I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, and the tears ran down my face because I was so excited and nervous to become pregnant again. Kyle was so excited about being a dad when he saw the results. From week 8 I had been sick multiple times a day, weeks went by the sickness remained then at week 12 I had to start doing glucose tests, failed them 3 different times and was told at week 28 that I have gestational diabetes. This pregnancy was very hard emotionally, mentally and physically as I am high risk and everyday I asked God to cover our baby.
We found out we were having a girl in October and chose to name her Caroline Noelle and the excitement seemed to outweigh the worry. Each moment and each day is a true gift from God with our daughter who was born on March 20, 2026. I had to have her by C-section because of the fibroid surgery I had in 2022.
I honor my angel baby by hosting a monthly grief group at our church called NOAH Community and have hosted a baby loss event in October for the past 4 years. I want others to know they are not alone in the experience of losing a baby. Its ok to grieve, with time it gets bearable and the Lord can give you the ultimate comfort and peace.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
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