RORY’S STORY
The month before getting pregnant with Rory, I had a chemical pregnancy after stopping birth control. We were told this could happen before hormones fully regulated. I conceived Rory the following month. The pregnancy was fairly typical—while I don’t love being pregnant, I focused on enjoying the positive moments since she was meant to be our last child. She always measured small, but doctors weren’t concerned. Aurora “Rory” Jae was born via scheduled C-section at 39 weeks on January 17, 2022, weighing 6 lbs. She came out tiny but loud and strong.
Rory was a happy baby with milk/soy protein allergy like her sister, which was stressful during the 2022 formula shortage; we sometimes had formula shipped from Ireland. She had COVID at 2 weeks old and handled it well. She stayed healthy until November 2022, at 9½ months, when she developed severe breathing issues. Despite two medical visits, her symptoms were dismissed until her pediatrician admitted her. She was diagnosed with enterorhinovirus and parainfluenza (croup). After initial improvement, she declined and crashed on November 6. The hospital could not properly intubate or transfer her, and she spent over four hours with low oxygen before reaching the children’s hospital, where they reintubated her immediately.
She was placed on ECMO and diagnosed with MRSA that had caused septic shock. After a week on life support, a clot dislodged. Rory passed away in my arms on November 14, 2022, surrounded by family as I held her, sang to her, and stroked her cheek.
The following weeks were a blur of shock. Family and friends handled funeral arrangements and supported us through that time. I knew early on that I wanted another baby, though my husband needed more time. After about three months of grieving, we decided together to try, and I quickly became pregnant with our son.
That pregnancy was filled with grief and anxiety. We changed hospitals and doctors and monitored everything closely. My scheduled C-section originally fell on Rory’s first angelversary, November 14, which felt like a sign but also too emotionally heavy. Our son—our rainbow baby—was born healthy on November 10 as Jacob Jae or JJ, as we call him. He healed parts of us without ever replacing Rory, and he even resembles her.
We honor Rory every year. On her birthday, we host a rock-painting gathering—virtual and in person—to decorate her memorial garden. On her angelversary, we keep things smaller: lanterns, butterflies, or balloons. Her birthday is the day we celebrate her most.
If you are grieving a loss, know that there are no rules. Your grief is your own. Do whatever you need to survive and to honor your child. Others may not understand, and that’s okay—they did not live your loss. You did.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
Make sure to follow Journey For Jasmine on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik-Tok!
Listen to the Finding Hope After Loss Podcast!