First Pregnancy
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 9 months. During those 9 months I officially got a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). After the doctor recommendation to wait 6 months, we moved on to the next step, using medication. I took Letrozole and got pregnant right away. I was honestly shocked that it worked the first time and was so excited. I started adding baby items to a private Amazon registry just for fun and even ordered a maternity pillow. I was just so excited. On February 5th I had an ultrasound and the doctor found a gestational sack but no heartbeat yet. A week later, I had some bleeding and called my doctor. They got me in and did another ultrasound. They found a heartbeat but said it was weak and wanted to see me again in another week to check on the heartbeat. For that week I worried so much. On the 19th of February I had my ultrasound first thing in the morning. The ultrasound tech asked if they saw a heartbeat last week. I could see her face say that there was no longer a heartbeat. I was devastated but so grateful that my husband could be there with me as we were still dealing with Covid in our country. I chose to take a medication since the baby wasn’t that big. I didn’t want to do surgery. When we got home I took the medication and passed the baby a few hours later. That was the worst pain I had ever felt and been through in my life.
Second Pregnancy
After my miscarriage, we decided to go to a fertility clinic to see if there were any other issues with me or my husband. We did one round of treatment (medication, trigger shot and timed intercourse) in June then went on a family vacation. It was so nice to relax for over a week during the two-week waiting period. I felt symptoms of a pregnancy but also figured it was just the hCG shot I did. My period came and we decided not to go back to the clinic. Insurance didn’t cover anything, and it was very expensive. I asked my doctor to up my medication and it worked! I found out July 13, 2021 I was pregnant again. I was scared to lose this one too and called my doctor right away. I got in a week later and I asked to be put on Progesterone, as I thought that was the reason for my miscarriage. My doctor said okay and I started the suppositories that night. I had my first ultrasound and there was a strong heartbeat! I started crying because I was so happy this little one was healthy (or at least we thought he was).
I did my required blood work required at my 9 week appointment, one of the tests included a Toxoplasmosis test. A few weeks later it came back positive but said it could be negative. They have to draw my blood again and send it to a lab that specializes in that. I went to a lab and got my blood drawn and waited about 2 weeks. My doctors called and said the lab messed up my test and I would have to get blood drawn again. I got my blood drawn again and waited another 2 weeks. At this point it was the beginning of October and I was finally feeling better from the morning sickness I had in the first trimester.
I got a call on a Friday saying my test came back positive and that I needed to admit myself to the hospital right away so that I could be started on antibiotics. It wasn’t until I spent a whole weekend in the hospital hooked up to an IV that I was actually negative for Toxoplasmosis. During my ultrasound at the hospital Monday morning, they noticed the baby had an echogenic bowel. This could mean one of 3 things; 1: I bled a little and the baby swallowed the blood. Nothing bad. 2: He could have a form of Cystic Fibrosis, it would be hard but not the end of the world. Or 3: He could have CMV (Cytomegalovirus) which could be very severe and cause a lot of issues.
Through many tests, including an amniocentesis, MRI and more blood work our sweet rainbow baby boy indeed had CMV. It wasn’t until the MRI on December 20th where we saw how severe his life was going to be. He would have had severe Cerebral Palsy, severe Microcephaly, low muscle tone, be born completely deaf and have severe seizures. We decided that wasn’t the quality of life we wanted for our baby boy and after 2 ½ months of tests we decided to end the pregnancy. Our son, Theodore Michael, was born sleeping at 29 weeks on January 13th, 2022. You can read Theo’s whole story here.
Current Pregnancy (Double Rainbow Baby)
Because of the CMV virus, my husband and I wanted to make sure that that infection wouldn’t affect my next pregnancy. We were ready to start trying again in March and so I got the TORCH blood screen and my blood still came back positive for the CMV virus. We waited a few more months and I got another opinion from Rainbow Babies hospital. They said it would be safe to start trying again. So, in May 2022, we started trying and we got pregnant in June 2022. This baby has been on the same timeline as my boy Theo, so I feel it was a blessing from big brother that he wanted to have a sibling born the same month Theo was due. I want to celebrate this double rainbow baby in everything I do and honor his brother before him. I can’t wait until we get to meet our sweet Everett James!
Photos taken by Lauren Cramer Photography.
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