In March 2020 I found out I was pregnant.
I didn’t feel great my first trimester but this was my first pregnancy so I thought that’s just how you feel.
I went to my 8 week ultrasound and found out I was having twins which was a surprise but also felt like destiny. I am a nanny and have cared for 14 sets of twins so I definitely knew could handle it.
Everything went well until 18 weeks when I bled a little bit. I went to the doctor who then sent me for an ultrasound. They told me my water broke on twin A and that I had to go to the hospital because I might go into labour.
I was absolutely terrified but I didn’t go into labour that night so they sent me home and told me the signs to look out for. I did everything I could to keep them in for as long as possible.
On Aug 4 I didn’t feel good so I went to the hospital and they said my white blood cell count was high so they put me on antibiotics but didn’t say anything about me possibly going into labour.
On Aug 5 I started having contractions and my daughter Lily was born still and my son Paxton was born 30 minutes later and lived for 2 minutes before he died.
It was truly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
I then had a chemical pregnancy in Dec 2020, a miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks in January 2021, a miscarriage at 6 1/2 weeks in June 2021 and now I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby girl.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in March 2021 and this pregnancy is utterly terrifying for me. I really hope this is the baby that I am going to take home with me.
Photos taken by Furever Reflections Pet & Family Photography and Ashley Cormier.
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