On September 13, 2022, I experienced the worse pain you could imagine. I had been bleeding for a week, thinking it was my period. I carried on waiting for it to be over to begin a new cycle of ttc. By day 9, after dealing with heavy bleeding, horrible cramps, and nausea, I texted my parents and had them take me to the hospital. They were watching my daughter, since my husband was at work. Therefore I was alone at the hospital.
After checking in and getting situated, they ran some tests. I had told the nurse and doctor we had been trying for a baby for a year and a half. They did an ultrasound to check for cysts on my ovaries and a pregnancy test. About 20 minutes after sitting alone and texting my sister about how I was scared, the doctor came into the room to say “did they tell you that you’re pregnant?”.
My heart rate climbed to 170bpm and I began sobbing. I was SO HAPPY to be carrying another baby and to be giving my husband another child after he hadn’t had one in over a decade. The doctor left the room and I called my husband and told him the news, he was so happy. I was crying so he asked “well aren’t you happy?” & while I was ecstatic, I was terrified because I knew I had been bleeding for 9 days and that wasn’t “normal” during pregnancy.
I texted my family and told them. Only for the doctor to come back in my room and tell me she suspected the pregnancy had implanted in my fallopian tube. Something called an “Ectopic Pregnancy”. I will never forget Google searching those two words, only to find out that kind of pregnancy, you can’t keep inside you. The doctor said I needed surgery at another hospital to remove the pregnancy. I called my husband and he rushed to me, following behind me while I rode in the ambulance alone.
Prepped and waiting, the surgeon talks to me telling me what will happen during the procedure. I say my goodbyes to my husband and I’m wheeled back to the OR. Counting down from 10, knowing the closer I get to 1, I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore. I had THE WORST shakes you could imagine. Even worse than when I gave birth to my daughter almost 2 years prior.
I wake up, crying, with two nurses by my side telling me everything was okay. But it wasn’t, I had just lost my baby, along with my right fallopian tube. I was bleeding out on the inside and had I waited any longer, I would’ve been dead. While I was thankful to be alive for my daughter and step son, I was angry I was alive and my baby wasn’t. We were sent home a few hours after my surgery, where I wept and stayed depressed for months. I was terrified to get pregnant again. After all, you’re 10% more likely to have a recurrent ectopic pregnancy.
But on March 15, 2023, after my husband had been throwing up for days and the first day of my missed period came, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I didn’t even tell him I was testing because I was scared it would be negative. We were so shocked, happy and scared. I called and told my family and set up a doctor appointment. I’ll never forget my doctor telling me this pregnancy was safe in my womb, growing with a beautiful heartbeat. Our beautiful rainbow baby BOY is due November 27th, just 3 days before my birthday.
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