Summer of 2024, my partner and I knew we wanted to try and conceive to keep the kids close in age. We have a son name Seth Angelo who will turn 2 on 2/16. It seemed harder this time around as we didn’t get pregnant until November 2024. Took a pregnancy test at work on November 15, 2024 and it turned positive instantly. Surprised my partner during a family photoshoot that was already planned on November 17, 2024. It was such an exciting time. Announced to our families on Thanksgiving Day.
The symptoms during this pregnancy were not present at the time, it was still early on for me. I was about only 3 or 4 weeks at this time. I had been sick on and off from October 2024 with what felt like sinus congestion. I couldn’t take any prescribed meds as the doctors said it was too early on to prescribe any antibiotics.
Thursday December 12, 2024, I started spotting at work. I didn’t think nothing of it since as a nurse I knew that could be normal.
Friday December 13, 2024, I developed a fever at work with cough and the congestion got worse. I saw a primary care doctor who told me bleeding was normal and to monitor. If bleeding was bright red with cramps to head to the ER. I tried to keep positive but in my gut, I knew exactly what was about to happen. I was so exhausted on top of not feeling well.
All day Saturday December 14, 2024, I had on and off fevers that I treated with Tylenol. Later that night around 6pm I started to feel cramping, but I was in denial and took my last dose of Tylenol for the day. I woke up with contraction like pain on Sunday December 15, 2024. Thinking I needed to use the restroom, I went on the toilet and knew I passed baby as I felt a plop into the toilet. I was devastated and crushed, I couldn’t even cry.
I woke my partner up and told him I have a message out to the on-call doctor for doctor advice and what happened. The doctor called and stated they advised for me to go to the ER for baseline bloodwork and they will perform ultrasound. I went to the ER, and it was simple, they got me in quick and did all the blood work. The doctor spoke with me and explained everything I already knew. We had our first OB appointment the next day, so we followed up again then.
My medical team was very supportive and always made sure I knew they were available to me. Family and friends were very supportive as well. I knew I had to go through my own emotions as this is my very first miscarriage. There are some days I think about what could have been but there are other days I remind myself there is a reason for this.
As I talk about it more and more and become open to the situation, I realize this is so COMMON and it is such a TABOO topic. I posted about it on social media and so many mothers reached out to me to talk about their experiences. They felt so refreshed and happy I shared my moment. It helped them heal and it also helped me. I wasn’t alone. We are never alone. It is okay to talk about your experience. It is all different, but we all share one common thing. We are stronger.
Photos taken by Jane Robles.
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