Dylan and I fell in love hard and fast the summer we met. Our whirlwind summer romance turned into a Thanksgiving engagement. After less than two years together, we were married. By the second anniversary of our engagement, we had lost three babies. None of those pregnancies were intentional, but all of them were loved and wanted.
The following April, Dylan lost his grandmother. He realized how fleeting life is, and that week we started officially trying to conceive. It only took a few months for me to realize we were going to have difficulty, and I went to a doctor who told me to come back the following summer in order to get an infertility diagnosis. I went back when we had planned, and she told me no doctor would be able to help me until I had lost 70 lbs. I tried to explain that my weight gain started when I started a medication prescribed to me, but she dismissed me, so I left and didn’t return.
Two more years passed, and I was able to see a doctor who would help with my PCOS diagnosis and my fertility naturally. Their beliefs aligned with mine and they taught me how to chart my cycles in a way that I could understand what was going on in my body. Within six months of seeing them, I was pregnant. Within four weeks of standing in the doorway of our home and showing my husband the positive pregnancy test, I received a phone call that the pregnancy was not viable and I was going to miscarry.
We had told our families and closest friends. We had started buying baby things. We were planning things we’d do with our baby and their cousin who was due just a few months earlier. Our hearts were broken, but we had a renewed hope. After almost five years of fighting for a baby, my body was finally healing. Since then, I’ve started working harder than ever to improve my health and the chances of carrying to term. We’re waiting on the Lord, and hopeful for what is to come.
Photos taken by Kbay Productions.
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