Everyone looks at me and just assumes that having children was easy for me. Oh how wrong they are!
I’ve been pregnant 9 times but only had 4 successful pregnancies, one with identical twins.
It all started in 2016 when I had my first miscarriage. Then in 2017 I had an ectopic pregnancy which was incredibly traumatising for me and eventually ended in emergency surgery because I had internal bleeding, I can’t go into too much detail as this would require a separate blog post. That same year I fell pregnant again but had another miscarriage. In 2018 I fell pregnant again and had my first rainbow baby girl (born at 36 weeks). The following year 2019 I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks and needed a D&C, which again was a very traumatising experience. December 2019 I found out I was expecting again and I proceeded to have a healthy rainbow baby boy in 2020 (born at 35 weeks). In January 2021 I found out I was pregnant with a multiple pregnancy but miscarried naturally very early on. I fell pregnant while I still had the pregnancy hormones in my body and had a healthy but very premature rainbow baby boy (born at 30 weeks).
Then, when I thought I was done having children, I found out I was expecting identical twin girls who were born in April 2023 (born at 35 weeks).
I have 5 children under the age of 5!
The losses have definitely left me scarred in one way or another. I still flinch when I see pregnancy announcements and every pregnancy was full of anxiety.
Why am I sharing this? Well, don’t assume that others have it “easy”, be open about what is happening in your life and share it with your friends, you might be surprised who has walked this path as well.
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