We started trying to grow our family in June of 2021. In the two and a half years since then, we have experienced a second trimester pregnancy loss followed by 15 failed cycles, 5 failed medicated cycles, 3 failed IUIs, and a devastating infertility diagnosis of severely diminished ovarian reserve (DOR).
After countless heart to hearts, we decided it was time to pursue other pathways to parenthood. We met with a social worker to learn more about fostering to adopt and we let our fertility clinic know we were ready to move forward with IVF.
Then, on January 31, 2023, my otherwise very healthy mom was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic cervical cancer. Chemo would need to start immediately and there was no question she would be battling for her life. Without hesitation, we paused all fertility treatments and efforts to become foster parents. Our sole focus became supporting my mom on her cancer journey.
Astonishingly, six weeks later, I was pregnant. The moment I saw a second line appear on my pregnancy test – something I thought I would never see again – I knew this baby was inherently connected to my mom. She was so excited to be a Grandma!
Being pregnant after loss has brought us moments of pure joy and times of all-consuming fear. But each day, we are thankful for this truly miraculous pregnancy, and we remain hopeful that this is the baby we will have the privilege to raise.
On September 3, 2023, my mom completed her battle with cervical cancer and passed away peacefully surrounded by her family. In her final days, I asked her, “What sign will you send us after you are gone?”, she responded, “I will send you rainbows.”
I have no doubt when this rainbow baby arrives in December, they were sent to us by her.
Photos taken by Allison Holstrom Photography.
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
Pin and help spread the project!