It all started back in February of 2013 when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was so excited and happy to finally become a mother that I did the first thing any expecting mother would do and started sharing the good news with friends, family, and coworkers.
Monday, May 11th, I announced my pregnancy on social media, reliving the good news and the excitement of the little creature growing inside of me. But by the middle of that week I started experiencing what I thought were normal symptoms of being in my first pregnancy trimester.
I was extremely nauseous and I couldn’t keep food down at all, not even water. Again, this was my first pregnancy and I was still excited to be pregnant.
By Friday, May 15, 2013, that excitement was short-lived when I woke up to the worst physical pain I had ever felt. The right side of my body felt like a bulldozing rock was trying to pass through my body spreading throughout my lower body into my buttocks. By the time I arrived to the hospital I had to be wheeled to the back in a wheelchair because the pain was so severe I couldn’t walk.
By then I knew I was having some sort of miscarriage. After I had awoken from the anesthesia, that’s when everything was confirmed.
The egg attached itself to my right tube, in what is commonly known as tubal pregnancy, causing my right tube to erupt leaving me bleeding internally and near death. My right tube had to be removed, which lowered my chances of conceiving, but at that time there was still hope.
Until October of 2013, within the same year, I had experienced yet another ectopic pregnancy. This time it was in my left tube. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. I was devastated and drowning in pain because I really want to become a mother someday.
There isn’t an easy way to express pain and sorrow. I’ve hid in the shadows of becoming a mother since I suffered these two ectopic pregnancies which left me unable to conceive children naturally.
In the beginning, I could never talk about my situation with anyone besides close family who supported me while I was in the hospital. I would pretend that everything was okay and one day I’d magically become pregnant like the miracles stories seen on TV. But the reality is, my only options are invitro, adoption, or foster parenting.
Luckily, I have married a man, Guy Edwards, who not only understands my situation but supports any decision WE choose to make.
Today, I’m the proud mother of two playful Doberman puppies and the cool auntie of seven wonderful nieces and nephews.
I’m a firm believer in the phrase “things happen for a reason” and although my reason(s) may not be clear, my journey to become a mother is not over, it’s only the beginning.
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