Melissa N’s Story

My husband, Tom, and I met in college and dated for 8 years before marrying in a small outdoor ceremony in September 2020.  After about a year of marriage, we began trying for our first baby.  We felt incredibly lucky that we were able to conceive so quickly!  We were overjoyed by the news and began preparing for our baby’s arrival in Fall 2022.  We decided to tell our closest friends and family, as we could not contain our excitement.  Sadly, we learned that we lost the baby at our 12 week appointment in March 2022.  The loss was diagnosed as a missed miscarriage and even though I had all the symptoms of pregnancy, we were told there was no heartbeat.  To say we were shocked and devastated would be a massive understatement.  Shortly thereafter, I had a D&C procedure to complete the miscarriage. 

Since we had openly shared our pregnancy, we experienced an outpouring of love and support.  We heard stories from many about their own losses and learned how common loss and infertility can be on the journey to becoming a parent.  There were a few things that helped my mental health recovery during this time; my workplace recognized by miscarriage as loss and was provided full bereavement benefits.  I also had a phenomenal therapist to help me recover emotionally and mentally.  After the surgery, we decided to travel to Portugal with family in early May and restart the process once we returned.  I found this vacation to be emotionally healing.  

Upon returning from our vacation, my period had not returned and I felt something was “off”.  I chalked it up to hormones and that my body needed more time to recover.  After 4 months of trying to conceive with no luck, I began my own research and found an amazing support group on Facebook.  It was then that I learned about a “rare” (spoiler: it’s not that rare) condition called ‘Asherman’s Syndrome’.  Asherman’s Syndrome occurs when scar tissue forms inside the uterus and/or the cervix, typically following a medical procedure.  Following an un-operable hysteroscopy, I sought out an Asherman’s specialist in the Washington, DC area.  This doctor was amazing both in their skill and the emotional bedside manner provided, I am forever grateful to her.  Following an official asherman’s diagnosis, discovering that I had retained tissue from the initial pregnancy and 4 surgeries to remove the scarring; we were given the okay to begin our fertility journey again.

Another 6 months went by of trying to conceive and we began to wonder if we would need additional help.  We met with a fertility specialist to begin the testing process and potential IUI or IVF process.  It was 4 days before our initial fertility tests that I decided to take a pregnancy test.  We were shocked to see for the first time in 18 months a very faint second line appear.  

We couldn’t believe that we were pregnant again and thrilled to be back on the path to parenthood.  All of a sudden at 8 weeks, I experienced a traumatic bleed and assumed that I had miscarried again.  After an emergency visit to our doctor and ultrasound, we heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time and learned that I had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH).  I had 2 more bleeds with the final one landing me in the emergency room.  Luckily, the SCH resolved on its own around 20 weeks.  We are fortunate and happy to share that I am now 8 months pregnant with our rainbow baby girl.  

I am incredibly thankful to my husband, family, friends and the medical professionals who provided unwavering support throughout this journey.  My husband was there every step of the way as my rock and continuously reminded me that this was not my fault and he loved me no matter the outcome.  As the rainbow suggests, this baby signifies a brighter future, hope and joy after a period of grief and trauma.  We are thrilled to welcome our rainbow baby girl in February 2024.

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