Lexi C’s Story

Our story starts 9 years ago when our daughter was born. She has been the light of our life and we weren’t 100% sure about anymore children after her, but fast forward to December 2024 and we found out I was pregnant by surprise! Our daughter was the first one I told, and then she helped me tell her daddy. We were so excited! Our daughter had wanted a sibling and she was finally getting one! My symptoms appeared just like normal, the nausea, the fatigue..all of it.

I had an appointment at 10 weeks to check on baby’s progress, but we never made it to that appointment. My symptoms started disappearing, and in January 2025 I started bleeding and went to the ER where they did an ultrasound and the gestation didn’t match up to where I should be. I should have been close to 10 weeks, but our little bean was only measuring 5 weeks and we were told this was the start of a miscarriage. We were shattered. You hear about it happening to other people, but it’s something you never think about yourself going through until you’re going through it.

I went home and tried to prepare myself for what was to come. On January 9th I passed our baby. I remember there was snow on the ground, and trying to sled with our daughter while actively losing our 2nd child. I was in alot of pain for a few hours, and then all of a sudden it was over. I cried in the bathroom wondering why this happened to us, and felt so guilty thinking I did something wrong.

I had a follow-up with the doctor and had to sit in the waiting room with all the other mom’s with big bellies while mine was empty. The doctor came in and told us there was nothing I did wrong, that it just happens. She said we could try again after 1 cycle and honestly I didn’t even want to think about that. Our baby was gone, and I was left feeling so mad and confused. I’m not sure who I was mad at, I was just mad..for weeks. We had already told our family early on, because like I said…we didn’t think it could happen to us…so we had to call everyone and tell them what happened. After the initial “I’m so sorry” from family..that was it. Nobody talked about it, and other than “it just wasn’t meant to be” I felt like our baby was just forgotten. Maybe people weren’t comfortable bringing it up, but I think that just made it worse. We went on with life the best we could. I bought a shelf and a keepsake box for our baby and it’s on display in our house. We named our baby Phoenix Amos Roberts. I light a candle every January 9th and August 1st as August was my due date.

Fast forward to August 2025. My husband and I took a trip to Salem, VA and had the most amazing weekend exploring the town and just relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever. For the first time in months, I felt like things were getting back to “normal.” A breath of fresh air and time away from everything that happened back home. The last thing on our mind was a baby.

In September, I felt a little “off.” I thought there was no way at all that a little (+) would appear, but that was the quickest I’ve ever seen one appear…my period wasn’t even late! So needless to say I was not prepared, and I immediately went to my husband.. we were both just kind of in shock. We didn’t know what to expect this time around and we were so scared so we waited…we prayed and we waited.

We went to 7 ultrasounds to make sure things were progressing and held our breath every single time. At 12 weeks, we told our daughter she was going to be a big sister again. At 15 weeks, we broke the news to family. Everyone was so excited. This pregnancy has been completely different than before. I had 2 weeks of minor morning sickness and that was it (I’m not bragging I promise) I think I’ve held my breathe more this pregnancy because of losing Phoenix, but I am now feeling her kicks everyday and can breathe a bit easier these days as long as I feel her. Oh yeah, it’s a girl! We are over the moon and cannot wait until May.

For anyone going through loss, I want you to know that it’s completely possible to be happy again after loss. It may feel a little different, and it might not feel right…but that’s okay. The way I see it, our baby that we lost couldn’t stay so they sent another baby to us that could. I wish more than anything we could have met Phoenix and known if they were a boy or a girl, but we wouldn’t have this baby if we did. Our baby girl was handpicked for this earth by her sibling, Phoenix Amos Roberts.