In January 2021, I came off the birth control pill & started to adjust to normal cycles. By May, everything had regulated and I started tracking my cycle and ovulation in June. Our very first cycle tracking LH, we conceived and we were so excited!! I told our family immediate family, got over excited and went to Target to create a registry. I had no expectations that this pregnancy wouldn’t have resulted in a child.
However, about a week or so after my first positive test, I had some bleeding and swollen glands. I went to the emergency room, panicked & was told there was no gestational sac & my HCG was a 7 at that point. The pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy. I followed up with my OB the next day and asked for some testing, something just didn’t feel right. She diminished my concerns and told me no testing until 3 losses.
In August, we tried and conceived again. My HCG was low & my progesterone was low. The OB told me this was likely another chemical pregnancy but still wouldn’t do any more testing to get to the root of the problem. I reached out to a fertility clinic with the most incredible reproductive endocrinologists who immediately ordered extensive testing – 13 tubes of blood!! They started me on daily aspirin, folate, and a high quality prenatal.
While waiting on the test results, we conceived again in September. The fertility clinic ordered HCG / progesterone tests. The anxiety was overwhelming! The first two tests were great, our numbers doubled and things were looking up. I began to have some cramping, my heart dropped. The third HCG showed a drop, yet another loss was coming.
The doctor called me at 8pm the day I started bleeding with news that my anticardiolipin antibodies came back slightly elevated indicating Antiphospholipid Syndrome. I was so confused, how can I have a clotting disorder while never having a blood clot? He suggested heparin right away for the next pregnancy but I was hesitant to start shots and risk bleeding. October came, we conceived again & this resulted in another chemical loss while I was traveling for work. In November we retested and the anticardiolipin antibodies were positive again. I knew the only way I’d have a child was through use of blood thinners. Despite incredible fear, we planned to try the heparin for the next pregnancy.
Sure enough, in January 2022 I had a positive test and we started heparin right away. Today, I am still pregnant and due in 3 weeks with my rainbow. I recognize that even at this point nothing is guaranteed. I’ve consistently said “if everything goes well and we bring him home…” .
The first trimester was terrible. I cried every day, just waiting for bad news. Every ultrasound I still feel anxiety. The second trimester was a bit better but loss stole the joy of pregnancy from me. In my third trimester, we see a high risk specialist weekly and it has helped put me at ease. I still worry, I still think of the worst case scenario, I still hope for the best but expect bad news. Pregnancy after loss is so challenging emotionally and physically. I am grateful that I’ve come out of this experience stronger and my marriage has survived. I hope to have my rainbow home safely by the middle of September.
My rainbow came home mid-September after a preeclampsia diagnosis, a 72 hour long induction and 4 hour labor that nearly took my life. The labor & delivery & postpartum phase was a trauma of its own, but everything was worth it for this smiling boy. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat!
Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.
Make sure to follow Journey For Jasmine on Instagram and Facebook!
Pin and help spread the project!
Finding out that we were pregnant with our second child, in March 2025, was such…
Our story starts 9 years ago when our daughter was born. She has been the…
Our story is one of secondary infertility, loss, and holding onto hope when it felt…
This website uses cookies.