Jennifer Crouse expected to bring home her first baby. Instead, at 39 weeks pregnant, she learned her daughter, Charlotte Grace, had no heartbeat.
In this episode of Finding Hope After Loss, Jennifer shares the story of losing Charlotte to stillbirth just days before she was supposed to be born. She opens up about the shock of becoming a mother and grieving her child at the same time, the self-blame that followed, and the reality of navigating postpartum without her baby in her arms.
Jennifer talks about discovering Charlotte was a girl on the same day she learned there was no heartbeat, the significance of the pink heart balloons that became Charlotte’s symbol, and the importance of the photographs provided by Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. She also shares how stillbirth changed every aspect of her life — her identity, relationships, mental health, and understanding of motherhood.
Throughout this conversation, we discuss grief after stillbirth, postpartum after loss, life after loss, and the healing that can come from finding community with other bereaved parents. Jennifer shares why she believes she will never “get over” losing Charlotte, but continues learning how to carry both grief and love forward.
This episode is for anyone navigating stillbirth, grief after losing a baby, postpartum after loss, motherhood after loss, or learning how to live with profound loss while moving forward.
Table of Contents
“She made me a mother. It just wasn’t the way I ever expected to start motherhood.”
“We did not know the gender of our baby. It was hard to find out the same day that your baby had no heartbeat, but also it’s a girl.”
“I feel invisible. Nobody knows the heartbreak you are carrying every single day.”
“Stillbirth changed everything about myself. It changed my outlook on life. It changed who I am as a person. It changed my relationships, not only with friends, but also with family.”
“I will never get over what happened to me. I will never be okay with what happened to me.”
Jennifer is a loss mom to Charlotte Grace, who was stillborn at 39 weeks. She wants people people to understand that grief doesn’t have a timeline—and love doesn’t end with loss. Honoring her daughter, speaking about her, and helping others through this is how she carries her forward.
Instagram: @alwayscharlottegrace
Stillbirth at 38 Weeks: When Everything Seemed Fine
Fernanda’s Story: Stillbirth, Pregnancy Loss, and Supporting Parents at Rainbow Baby Clinics
Motherhood, IVF, and Stillbirth: Kara’s Journey Through Loss and Healing
Infertility, Miscarriage, and Stillbirth: Hayley’s Story of Loss and Hope
How Brittany Survived Stillbirth, Navigated Pregnancy Loss, and Found Life After Loss
If Jennifer’s story resonated with you, please consider sharing this episode with someone navigating stillbirth, grief after losing a baby, or life after loss. Stories like these help grieving parents feel less isolated and remind them that they are not alone.
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