Payton’s Story

My Testimony

My journey into motherhood began during a time of great transformation. When I became pregnant, God was already working on my life. I didn’t go through fertility treatments, but my season wasn’t easy—I was healing, growing, and learning to surrender.

During my pregnancy, I experienced both beauty and struggle. I was at the LoveLady Center, and God used that place to begin restoring me. I wasn’t just carrying a baby—I was being carried by God.

Then I gave birth to my daughter, Ari’Yonna. For one month and two days, I got to love her, hold her, and be her mother. Those moments are the most precious memories I carry.

Losing her was the most painful experience of my life. There was no clear answer as to why it happened, and I was left with deep grief—sadness, confusion, and a pain I can’t fully put into words. Even with the support of others, some parts of that journey were just between me and God, and He met me there. In my lowest place, God was still present and carried me through what felt impossible.

Today, I honor Ari’Yonna by speaking her name and living with purpose. She will always be a part of me. Right now, I am not in a place where I want to try again, and I am at peace with that. This season is about healing, growth, and trusting God’s timing.

If there’s one thing I want others to know, it’s this: You are not alone. Your baby matters. Your pain is real. And even in the darkest moments, God can still bring purpose out of your pain.

Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.

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