Meredith’s Story

I never imagined I’d have to go on the journey to find my rainbow – I don’t think anyone ever does. This is my story.

My daughter, Haisley May, was born sleeping on October 4, 2024. My pregnancy was normal until it wasn’t. My husband and I were on our baby moon in a cabin 2 hours away from home. It was my 30th birthday on September 30th and I was about to be 30 weeks pregnant, so it was extra special.

The second day of our trip, bees followed us everywhere we went. From lunch, to following us on the sidewalk as we walked to dinner, there were bees everywhere.

The third day of our trip, a splitting headache woke me up. I tried everything to get rid of it, but I ended up calling the doctor, who told me to check my blood pressure. It was extremely high, so they told us to drive home to the hospital to get checked out. That’s when I learned that I not only had preeclampsia, but my daughter was measuring 6 weeks behind and didn’t have a heartbeat.

My heart shattered into a million pieces, but a part of me didn’t believe them. They were wrong. I felt her kick yesterday. I just had my baby shower. I couldn’t fathom that she was gone.

I was induced from there, and was convinced she was going to cry when she was born. The silence in the room when she arrived was deafening.

When I left the hospital with empty arms except for a memory box, a bee followed me to my car. The day we buried her, a bee landed on my husband’s wedding ring. The day of her memorial, a bee buzzed in front of each person that was there. There’s always bees around.

The year that followed, I was so deep in grief, but every time I saw a bee, I felt like she was checking in on me.

The day before Haisley’s first birthday, I found out I was pregnant. I felt every emotion – happy, excited, scared, sad, angry, etc. I knew this baby was handpicked by their big sister.

This pregnancy was so different from my first. More morning sickness, different cravings, better doctors. Pregnancy after loss was one of the most challenging journeys I’ve ever been on. I’ve never been a fan of the term “rainbow” because Haisley was never a storm. We called this baby our “honey baby” because we’ll never get over the sting of losing our daughter, and this baby is just as sweet.

The day before going into the hospital with Haisley, I bought a dress on our babymoon. When my husband and I were thinking of names for our honey baby, I found this dress again. The brand name? Hayden.

Haisley’s little brother, Hayden, arrived on our 6th wedding anniversary. I can’t wait to tell him all about his big sister and why we love bees so much.

My rainbow is as sweet as honey.