My husband and I decided to wait to have children after we were married in 2017.

We were so excited to find out we were pregnant with our first child in January 2022.

The first nine weeks of my pregnancy were uneventful. We went to have our first ultrasound at 9 weeks 5 days and discovered that our baby didn’t have a heartbeat and was measuring 2 weeks smaller than average. I opted for a D&C the next day. It was such a whirlwind. We were both so upset.

About a month later, I realized I needed to get help, my grief wasn’t manageable. I started seeing a grief counselor and taking anti-depressants. Months went on and my grief started taking over my life.

About four months after we lost our first child, we decided to start trying again. I knew I wasn’t emotionally ready, but I longed to be pregnant again.

After a second month of negative pregnancy tests, my mental state deteriorated. I spent most days crying in bed. I knew I needed more help. My meds were adjusted and I started going to acupuncture. I went back to work to help take my mind off everything.

We found out we were expecting our rainbow baby in August 2022. Our baby girl is due May 2023. 

Photos taken by Katie Rose Newborns.

Find out more about Project Finding Your Rainbow.

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Sarah Cox

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