My name is Mary-Susan, and this is why I wear the rainbow skirt. When people look at me, they don't…
My journey to motherhood started like many others, full of excitement and the assumption that it would just work out. Within three months of trying, we were pregnant. We were overjoyed. But that joy didn’t last long. Around five weeks, I miscarried. We were heartbroken, but we tried to stay hopeful. Then, the very next month, I was pregnant again. It felt like a miracle, like maybe the first loss had just been a terrible fluke. But at six weeks, we lost that pregnancy too. That was the moment I realized this wasn’t random. I went to the doctor looking for answers, but I kept hearing the same thing. Everything looks normal. Sometimes this just happens. Just keep trying. I never accepted that, because deep down it never felt right. Loss changes you. There is no way around it. When you lose a pregnancy, you don’t just lose a moment in time. You lose the dreams you had already started building. You imagine birthdays that will never happen, tiny hands you never got to hold, and a future that suddenly disappears. The grief is hard to explain unless you have lived through it. It is the grief that keeps on giving. Eventually I started digging deeper into my family’s medical history and pushing for more testing. At a fertility clinic, I had to advocate for myself more than I ever expected. I kept asking to be tested for a rare blood clotting disorder called PAI- 1 4G/5G. Doctors didn’t initially think it was necessary, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was being missed. After a lot of pushing, we finally got an answer. I did have the blood clotting disorder, which can cause recurrent early miscarriage. For the first time since this journey started, we felt like we had a real explanation. The plan seemed simple. The next time I got pregnant, I would start Lovenox and aspirin right away to prevent clotting issues.…
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